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/r/QOTSA Official Band of the Week 8: ARCTIC MONKEYS

So yeah, I threw a TON of shade at our Frigid Ape friends last week (but maybe not as much as I did at Meg White - but she deserves it. She knows what she did.) So if you had not guessed it already, this week we will focus on Alex Turner and some other guys. Yes, you might say that we have come crawling back to them. I even contemplated telephoning them after I was imbibing.
Yes, I only made that call while I was somewhat elevated.
It is rumored that these Wintry Orangutans may have established a taco-exporting lunar base (it actually had a high local Yelp rating, or so I’ve heard). Yes, these Chilled Hominids are our focus. They have 7 Brit Awards and 6 studio albums. (Side note: Robbie Williams has 18 Brit Awards so I’m pretty sure you can buy them at the airport kiosk.) They also, according to reliable sources, appear handsome on surfaces upon which you rhythmically gyrate.
They are this week’s featured artist.
About Them
One of the defining characteristics of JHo and the Boys can also be found with this group of Frosty Baboons: They never make the same record twice. Consequently, they are tough to define. They are a mash-up of influences and styles and each new album veers off in wildly different directions. Are you dressed up in a jean jacket with lots of buttons? You’ll love their sometimes Indie vibe. Just smoked a bowl? Yep, they have that desert groove. Feel like a night out with the lads? Their earlier, more up-tempo stuff is for you. Thinking more Billy Joel/Elton John? Yes, they have piano-based music. Want hip-hop?
Screw you, I did the Run the Jewels post already. Go back there.
These Bitter Mandrils hail from Sheffield, England. The band was formed in 2002 between a group of close friends. They initially had Andy Nicholson on bass, but after a series of conflicts on a North American tour, he got the boot. His replacement was Yellam’o Salochin - or as he’s better known, Nicholas O’Malley. The other core members of the band are Jamie Cook on guitar, Matt Helders on drums, and the one and only Alex Turner on just about everything (but most typically the microphone).
Although initially lacking in confidence, Turner would soon be pushed to the front of the band for his way with words. The reason for this would eventually become clear, as Turner revealed in 2013 that all band members are actually Alex Turner. Lets not deal with that Game of Thrones-esque plot twist yet though.
Stylistically, these guys are about as British as they come. You know how when people from England sing, they almost always sound like they have no accent? Turner is the exception. No, I don’t mean that he’s like John Lydon from The Sex Pistols, because part of that band’s rebellion was to sound quintessentially British instead of like manufactured pop. And no, I don’t mean that he is like Liam Gallagher from Oasis, because let’s face it, that guy barely sings anyway.
In his early work, Turner decided to double-down on his roots and perform his songs with his regional dialect. You can literally hear the Sheffield twang in his music, and the band would exemplify this British charm in all the tracks leading up to their first album.
After much practice, and several gigs, the band recorded some demos and began handing them out for free at their concerts. This eighteen song collection, dubbed Beneath the Boardwalk, would garner them a fair bit of fame, and was soon popping up on various file sharing and social media websites. That’s right. The number one lesson you need to take away from this is: if you want to get famous, MySpace is the way (even though they didn't even make their own page).
Soon they released an EP named Five Minutes with Arctic Monkeys on their own label. The success of this led to them playing the Reading and Leeds festival, where they drew an unusually large crowd for such an “unknown” band. In 2005 they signed with Domino Records, and released their debut single I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor to great success, reaching No. 1 on the UK singles chart.
By September of the same year, the band’s first album, Whatever People Say I am, That’s What I’m Not was done. Upon release, it became the fastest selling debut album in UK history, with over 360,000 copies sold in the first week. This album was (and still is) the epitome of British indie punk, and is pretty much the national anthem of North England night clubbers. No, not that kind of clubbers - clearly, I mean something more like this.
After this album, and a few singles / short EPs, “Who The Fuck Are Arctic Monkeys?” was the question on everyone’s mind.
This was answered in the release of their follow up album, Favourite Worst Nightmare (2007), which also hit No. 1 on the charts shortly after release. Much like it’s predecessor, it drips with Sheffield character, but in a slightly different manner. The song writing on this record gives a range between blistering speed and raw emotion. Tracks like Do Me a Favour and 505 demonstrate prowess and dexterity in Turner’s writing, and hinted at darker, more serious tones for the band’s future.
This came to fruition on what some may view as the band’s most important record: Humbug (2009). Our boy Josh took the young lads under his wing, producing and co-writing this album in the one and only Rancho de la Luna. When you listen to it, it shows. This record is dark, moody, and full of beautifully weird metaphors and winding riffs. There is still a good amount of energy in this album, seen in tracks like Pretty Visitors, but the dark moody undertones of the desert are strongly on display in songs like The Jeweller’s Hands and My Propeller. All in all, this album was one that saw an amazing level of evolution in the band’s song writing (and I swear, all that Josh touches turns to gold.)
Oh and this album also soared to No.1 on release. Go figure.
A few years later, they released the album Suck It and See (2011), a record that was a pure ray of sunshine compared to Humbug. The album features a considerably lighter sound, not that it lacks that signature Turner flair, but the tracks generally lean towards a slightly more accessible sound. All in all, it’s still a great album, and an important step in their musical development. Also, please expect to see somebody write a 4 page essay on why Brick By Brick is the best song they have ever written over on their subreddit by next week.
Oh and it also reached No.1 on release. Noticing a trend maybe?
Anyway, these Glacial Lemurs then released that squiggles album in 2013. It became marginally popular. Something something also reached No. 1, something something popular in America, something something Alex Turner’s greaser haircut was SO cool and I want it back. It is also worth noting that our boy Ginger Elvis made a cameo on this record (so I mean, it’s gotta be cool).
Moving on, their most recent album saw Turner embark on a Taco-Powered mission to the Moon. Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino (2018) was originally going to be released as a Turner solo album. However, upon hearing it, his band mates decided to join in and make it into a fully fledged Numb Chimpanzees record. Moon-Tacos can be persuasive.
This album is chock full of alluring and idiosyncratic lyrics that conjure up wonderfully unique aesthetics. It has a laid back, piano-centric melancholy feel that is found nowhere else in their discography. It is so different from their previous albums that many have mixed views on it, but in my opinion, it’s the ultimate grower - I only started enjoying it on maybe the 5th listen. Overall I give it a solid 80% (unheard of, I know!)
Oh and of course, it also hit No. 1.
And notice how I never returned to that Game of Thrones Plot twist? Yep, just like the final season. No, I am not bitter...why do you ask?
That puts a neat bow on their discography, give or take their numerous B-Sides, which are a whole other rabbit hole. I have also neglected some other important Alex Turner records, such as Submarine (his only solo album) and both albums by The Last Shadow Puppets, which are also important stylistic stepping stones for the band. This also explains why Alex Turner’s shoulders are so strong, since he has to carry Miles Kane’s career on both of these records.
All in all, Turner is also a lot like our very own Baby Duck in that he has done multiple projects with multiple artists above and beyond his core band. A self-described “control freak” and reluctant frontman - yet he seems possessed by a desire to constantly explore, create and collaborate on new music.
There’s nothing quite like these Arctic Monkeys, even if their name is really easy to mess up.
Links to QOTSA
Queens of the Stone Age and our featured Polar Simians first met at a rather disappointing gig in Houston in 2007. Josh described them as a ”down-to-earth, earnest group of people that grew up together and somehow made a bubble to protect themselves from the explosion that is their band.” He also remarked that, ”They’ve been playing this most dangerous game of changing every record and reaching like a rock climber for the next grip.”
It is clear that Josh saw his own musical journey reflected in the band, so much so that Homme co-produced and co-wrote their 2009 third studio album, Humbug. That album was recorded in large part out at Rancho de la Luna. Queens have even done a cover version of Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?
Alex Turner did guest vocals on If I Had a Tail. Josh reciprocated by doing guest vocals on Knee Socks. During the recording of AM, Turner said of Josh: ”He came down and sort of got us out of a little rut. It’s just fun, it’s friends, extended family now...His contribution to our record is really exciting, it’s probably my favourite.” Josh has stated about Turner that ”he has a special gift for the gab” and that Matt Helders is ”one of the best drummers in rock ‘n’ roll.” Helders joined Josh, Dean Fertita and Iggy Pop to record Post Pop Depression at Rancho de la Luna in 2015.
Their Music
Fluorescent Adolescent
R U Mine?
Brick by Brick
505
Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?
Knee Socks
Pretty Visitors
I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor
Mardy Bum
Four Out Of Five
Show Them Some Love
/arcticmonkeys
Previous Posts
Tool
Alice in Chains
King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard
Rage Against the Machine
Soundgarden
Run the Jewels
Royal Blood
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Weekly Events Thread 12/30/19 - 1/5/20

Please, feel free to add any events below! Check out the Events Calendar and Visitor's Guide for more info!

Looking to meet up with people? Check out Meetup St. Louis.

New Year's Eve Events
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Sporting Events This Week
Attractions Around the Area
Recurring Outdoor Activities
Recurring Events on the Mississippi River
Comedy This Week
Live Music This Week
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Literary Destiny: Primary Weapons!

Hey all, 30,000 words later, I've finished the rough draft of my thesis, so I get to reward myself with this!
It is an attempt to catch all the literary references in Destiny's flavor texts–I did armor last week, you can find that post here!
Obviously, since I'm not a writer in Destiny, nor do I know any of the writers, this will not 100% complete–but I read a lot, so maybe it'll be close!
Without more ado about nothing, here's the primary weapons! They're organized by class, and then roughly in descending order of rarity.

Auto Rifles

Fabian Strategy: Wait for enemy to make a mistake. Die. Stand by for Ghost Resurrection. Repeat as necessary.
Interestingly, despite its name being the an actual military strategy, the use of Fabian Strategy really doesn't seem in line with that strategy. The actual strategy is one of attrition, guerrilla warfare, and light skirmishes, as opposed to the frontline fighting the gun espouses. The strategy itself was named after Quintus Fabius Maximus Verrucosus Cunctator (can't make this stuff up), a Roman dictator who pioneered it against Hannibal, a legendary Carthaginian commander. Fun fact, his cognomen–or honorary last name–Verrucosus, means 'warty', a reference to a wart on his upper lip.
((GENESIS CHAIN~)): ~if(input(SIVA)) // echo Shirazi // output(death) // ask(not in vain)~
I think this is a reference to James 4:3:
3You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, in order to spend what you get on your pleasures.
New Revised Standard Version. 'Ask not in vain', as it were. I'm not 100% about this one simply because it's not a great fit, but 'ask not in vain' is a pretty iconic phrase.
Monte Carlo: There will always be paths to tread and methods to try. Roll with it.
Uhh, so this is a reference to the Monte Carlo method, which, according to Wikipedia, is, "a broad class of computational algorithms that rely on repeated random sampling to obtain numerical results." If someone with relevant expertise could explain this better, I'll edit it in, but for now, I'll take a whack at it: as a part of risk analysis, Monte Carlo methods allow you to simulate a large number of possible outcomes, so you can better make decisions under uncertainty. Of course, it is also a reference to the Monte Carlo principality in Monaco, particularly its opera-house-cum-casino, from which the RNG of the Monte Carlo method takes its name.
Abyss Defiant: We will not go quietly.
A reference to Welsh poet Dylan Thomas' "Do not go gentle into that good night", all of which is fabulous, but I will quote just a short stanza here:
Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
As Guardians, we're pretty conditioned against the 'dying of the light', so this one definitely feels like a good fit.
Arminius-D: Unleash a torrent on your enemies with the Häkke Arminius-D.
The name is of Arminus (german, Hermann), a legendary German commander who lived in both the BCE and CE, and gave the Romans their greatest defeat at the Battle of Teutonberg, in 9CE. Arguably one of the most important battles in history, it likely stopped Roman advancement past the Rhine permanently–which is likely the "torrent" referenced in the flavor text.
Zarinaea-D: You provide the will, and the Häkke Zarinaea-D provides the way.
A Sacae woman, who also fought in battles. Wife of the Parthian (ayyyyy, see pulse rifles, below) King Marmares. Her story is related in Ctesias' history of the Persian empire, Persica.
Paleocontact JPK-43: An auto rifle, modified by Dead Orbit's superb technicians and specialists.
Paleocontact is the idea that aliens rendezvoused with early humans and influenced civilization. It is generally considered a pseudo-historic theory at best, and falls under "Ancient astronauts". No idea about the "JPK-43" part, unfortunately.
Questing Beast: You'll never catch it. But that's not the point.
A reference to Arthurian legend, the Questing Beast is a vicious monster, and a, "... subject of quests undertaken by famous knights such as King Pellinore, Sir Palamedes, and Sir Percival". Its description was quite ferocious:
The strange creature has the head and neck of a snake, the body of a leopard, the haunches of a lion, and the feet of a hart.[1] Its name comes from the great noise that it emits from its belly, a barking like "thirty couple hounds questing". 'Glatisant' is related to the French word glapissant, 'yelping' or 'barking', especially of small dogs or foxes.
More contemporary incarnations can be found in The Magicians series by Lev Grossman, and possibly South Park? Unsurprisingly, it also makes an appearance in the Merlin TV series. Thanks to Phoenity1 for pointing that one out!
Zero-Day Dilemma: There's no defense against it.
A reference to zero-day vulnerabilities, which are computer vulnerabilities found and exploited before the developers can come up with a solution or workaround–thus the 'zero-day' moniker.
For The People: I stand against the state of nature.
A reference to Thomas Hobbes' "natural condition of mankind", from Leviathan. A 'state of nature' was the theoretical idea of man's existence before society. A really interesting exploration of that idea is Ḥayy ibn Yaqẓān, a philosophical work by Ibn Tufail–Arabic, أبو بكر محمد بن عبد الملك بن محمد بن طفيل القيسي الأندلسي– which tells the story of a young man raised entirely in nature by animals, who only comes into contact with society later on in his life.
Izudabar-D: Millenia will pass, and still your name will ring out.
"Izdubar" was the initial translation of the name Gilgamesh, who of course is the protagonist of the Epic of Gilgamesh a fabulous (and surprisingly short!) ancient Mesopotamian epic poem, which is considered the first example of the genre.
Bronzed Miyamoto-D: An aggressive Häkke auto rifle, earned through glory in the Crucible.
A reference to the later-era (1600s) Japanese swordsman and strategist, Miyamoto Musashi–Japanese, 宮本 武蔵–and likely not the co-founder of Nintendo! In his later years, he wrote The Book of Five Rings, a treatise on strategy, tactics and philosophy.
Galahad-E: This extraordinary multirole rifle boasts a smartmatter frame, the key to remarkable capabilities.
More Arthurian legend! Sir Galahad is the illegitimate son of Lancelot and Elaine of Corbenic, ironically renowned for his purity and gallantry. He appeared quite late in the Medieval Arthurian legends, but became much more common in the later narratives, like Le Morte d'Arthur. Ultimately, he is considered to be the only night of Arthur's table worthy to see the Holy Grail and ascend to Heaven.
Shingen-E: The exemplary Shingen-E is built to pop skulls.
One of my old favorites (still sad I sharded it, though :( alas for small vaults), it likely references another 16th century feudal Japanese lord, Takeda Shingen–Japanese, 武田 信玄. A commander of "exceptional military prestige" during the Sengoku period, his alleged death by sniper was depicted by Kurosawa in the movie Kagemusha. It will be the 444th anniversary of his death on May 13th!
Longespée-A: When all around you is chaos, the dependable Longespée-A won't fail you.
A reference to William Longespée (literally, 'long sword' ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)), 3rd Earl of Salisbury. Renowned for being friggin' huge and having a friggin' huge sword. Go figure. He died in 1226, and was buried in Salisbury Cathedral. Five hundred and fifty years later, his tomb was opened, and a well-preserved rat was found inside his skull. I guess you could say it was skulking around? He got ratted out, though!
SUROS TYR-14: Stable. Dependable. Rapid-fire. SUROS.
Reminding me of how much I hate Suros' flavor text style, I'm not 100% sure about this one, because most of the 'cheap' Suros weapons have three-letter acronyms at the end of their name, so this might be coincidence. But, Týr is an ancient Germanic/Norse god, either the son of Odin, by the Prose Edda, or Hymar, by the Poetic Edda. Associated with war and might. Had his hand bit off by Fenrir, and is therefore known also known as 'The Leavings of the Wolf' which is an honorific, rather than a dig at him. His name is also where we get 'Tuesday' (Týr's-day)!
Cydonia-AR3: The City can't rely on a steady supply of programmable matter, so the multirole AR3 uses it only sparingly.
A region of Mars, but also a surname of Athena. That region of Mars was also where we found 'the Face of Mars', a rock formation whose shadows made it look like a face. Pretty neat.

Pulse Rifles

Herja-D: Devastate your foes with the deadly precision of the Häkke Herja-D.
More from the Prose Edda! This is a Valkyrie (demigoddesses of war, they would ride into battles and pick the worthy dead to come with them to Valhalla) specifically named in one of the two Nafnaþulur lists. Etymologically, it is also related to the Old Norse herja and Old High German herjón, both of which mean 'destruction' or 'devastation'.
Apple of Discord: "For the Fairest."
Huge shout-out to G3vanB, I'll put their analysis here:
Eris, godess of strife, supposedly throws one:
An apple of discord is a reference to the Golden Apple of Discord (Greek: μῆλον τῆς Ἔριδος) which, according to Greek mythology, the goddess Eris (Gr. Ἔρις, "Strife") tossed in the midst of the feast of the gods at the wedding of Peleus and Thetis as a prize of beauty, thus sparking a vanity-fueled dispute among Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite that eventually led to the Trojan War.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_of_Discord
The Apple was inscribed with ΤΗΙ ΚΑΛΛΙΣΤΗΙ The translation is the Gun's flavour text.
Interesting to note the Goddess of Strife's name ...
Hawksaw: A northwesterly wind is blowing.
Perhaps one of the more well-known references to our dear Bard, this is from Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2, Line 351:
HAMLET I am but mad north-north-west. When the wind is southerly, I know a hawk from a handsaw.
We're all mad, mad I tell you! Thanks to pocsaclypse for pointing that one out!
Parthian Shot: Who's got the last laugh now?
A military tactic turned literary term, a Parthian shot is an insult or retort delivered as the speaker was leaving. It eventually evolved into the much more well-known 'parting shot' in a delightful little bit of linguistic movement. It comes from a strategy developed by the Parthians, ancient Iranian peoples, where they would ride their horses away from the enemy while firing their bows at said enemy. Of course, it was also before the development of stirrups, so this was a technique that required a truly sublime mastery of equestrian skill. Imagine shooting a bow, while riding a horse, that you're only controlling with the muscles in your legs. Insane.
Smite of Merain (Adept): Barrel etching: "He parted them like a sea, which closed upon him again."
It's not exact, but any references to any parting of any seas are of course biblical in nature–Exodus, 14:21-15:19. Just taking the most similar quote I can find:
26 Then the LORD said to Moses, "Stretch out your hand over the sea, so that the water may come back upon the Egyptians, upon their chariots and chari- ot drivers."
14:26, NRSV. As usual, that particular act of God is followed with a great deal of praise.
The Messenger: From deep within the shadows it came—a messenger borne on black wings.
The personification of death often includes a pair of black wings. Crows and Ravens (and many other members of the Corvus family), often thought of as battlefield scavengers, are black. This feels like it should be a specific reference, but honestly it's more a trope than anything.
Hopscotch Pilgrim: It's a long road. Enjoy it.
In a seriously impressive bit of detective work, JohnnyFlack found that this is actually referencing:
Oh oh i found this while reading about the origins of hopscotch...
"In Cuba and in Puerto Rico it is called "La Peregrina" (meaning "Pilgrim Girl") and the squares represent the 9 rings the pilgrim traveler has to pass in order to reach Heaven from Purgatory according to Dante's Inferno."
Here's the Wikipedia article!
Moriaen-D: You are a child of many peoples, a protector of all cultures.
More Arthurian literature. This is a 13th century romance, called Moriaen, whose story of the titular hero follows him as he first attempts to find his father, and meets with famous knights of the round table, like Lancelot and Gawain. Once his father Aglovale is found, they return to his mother and take back her rightful lands. He is Moorish after his mother, but obviously is also a part of the Arthurian tradition. Thus the 'child of many cultures'.
Lump Distribution: This nimble rifle's on-board tactical systems keep a scrupulous tally of combat stats.
Besides looking totally neat, the gun refers to a Lump-Sum Distribution, which is, "... the distribution or payment within a single tax year of a plan participant's entire balance from all of the employer's qualified plans of one kind (for example, pension, profit-sharing, or stock bonus plans)." Thanks for that, IRS.
Painted Apollo MSc: A highly accurate Nadir firearm, earned through glory in the Crucible.
Our first Nadir gun! Apollo is the Greek god of, among other things, music, poetry, art, oracles, archery, plague, medicine, sun, light and knowledge. Wicked important, very well known. Has a sister, Artemis.
Painted Neptune MSc: A high velocity Nadir firearm, earned through glory in the Crucible.
I'm sensing a naming trend, though perhaps not a consistent! Neptune is the Roman god of the sea and freshwater, and is the counterpart to the Greek Poseidon.
Hotspur-A: Piezopolymer paneling makes the Häkke Hotspur-A a balanced war machine.
Hey! This is interesting. The green Häkke weapons are named after English noblemen! This one is after Henry 'Hotspur' Percy. Led a bunch of rebellions against Henry IV and was eventually killed at the Battle of Shrewsbury by an arrow to the face. Get rekt kiddo. He also featured as a character in Shakespeare's Henry IV, part I.

Scout Rifles

Fate of All Fools: *"The wise man knows his fate. The fool merely finds it."
I orignally thought this was a reference to Matthew, but turns out it's not–check out the story below!
A really excellent explanation of this from Voroxpete, which makes much more sense:
The Fate of All Fools - This one is actually a reference to a videogame... Specifically, Marathon, the series that Bungie created back in 1994, and from which many, many elements of both Halo and Destiny are derived. Rather apropo, given that the weapon was originally gifted to a long time fan who was recovering from brain cancer.
The specific reference is to this scene from Marathon 2:
Tycho's ship has been destroyed. The crater where it annihilated itself on Lh'owon's inner moon is still glowing. There were no survivors. With a focused message laser I burned his epitaph into the surface near the crash site, in letters three hundred meters high: "Fatum Iustum Stultorum."
The speaker in that scene is Durandal, an incredibly powerful rampant AI (wow, gee, its almost like Bungie have some kind of fixation on powerful rogue AIs or something). Tycho is another very powerful AI, acting under the control of an alien empire and sent to destroy or capture Durandal.
The phrase in latin at the end is a little bit wonky (hiring experts to get your dead languages right wasn't exactly a thing in nineties video game design), but it's more or less agreed that the intended translation is something like "The just fate of the foolish"...
Or "The fate of all fools."
Cocytus SR4: The Omolon Cocytus SR4 will drown your enemy in a river of pain.
Thanks to scapulargolem for this:
The 'Cocytus' is referencing the black river surrounding Dis/Hades (The underworld) in Classical mythology. It's mentioned many times in Virgil's Aeneid book 6. It's flavour text reflects this.
Incidentally, in some versions of the tale, the Cocytus Styx was supposedly the river Achilles was submerged in to make him invulnerable. He was held by his ankle, thus making his ankle his only weak spot–his Achilles heel (thanks to thyrandomninja for that clarification!).
And some additional context from Owasippe_Ninja! Thanks!
Awesome. Also, in Dante's Inferno, Cocytus is the frozen lake of the Ninth circle of hell, encasing not only Lucifer himself, but those who betray a bond of trust with others like benefactors, countrymen, and family. The ice is formed by the tears of the Old Man of Crete, which are described as being frozen sorrow and pain, and the frozen winds blown up by the wings of Lucifer. The worst betrayers (who aren't being devoured in the three heads of Lucifer) are fully encased in the ice in a the region called Judecca, named supposedly for Judas Iscariot (although there's more to Judecca than just Judas, check out its use in medieval city planning and general attitudes of Italian Christians of the time to Jews). So seems to fit the flavor text of "drowning enemies in a river of pain."
Additional small bit from another stealthy person, thyrandomninja:
is not just a reference to a literal river, but the Cocytus is also the river of lamentation, or mournful woe. It not only drowns the enemy in front of you by shooting them, but their friends and family are drowned in mourning as well.
Tuonela SR4: Hell will freeze over before the Omolon Tuonela SR4 will fail you.
Ahahah funny joke, Bungo. In Finnish mythology, Tuonela is the equivalent of Hades. In Finnish Christianity, it is the word used for 'Hell' in translations of the Bible. In terms of a literary reference, though, Tuonela is featured in the Kalevela, a Finnish national epic. The protagonist (roughly speaking), Väinämöinen, travels there to seek the knowledge of the dead. It, uhh, went okay.
The Hero Formula: It's just so satisfying!
Okay, this is referencing one of two things: either Heron's formula, alternately spelled Hero's formula; or the Hero's journey, which, frankly, makes slightly more sense? The first is a mathematical formula that gives the area of a triangle by requiring no arbitrary choice of side as base or vertex as origin, where A=√(s-(s-a)(s-b)(s-c)). It's satisfying, I guess? Math isn't really my thing. The second refers to the 'monomyth' or the "common template of a broad category of tales that involve a hero who goes on an adventure, and in a decisive crisis wins a victory, and then comes home changed or transformed". The idea was originally put forward by Jason Joseph Campbell in his 1949 book on the subject, The Hero With a Thousand Faces.
Lethe Noblesse: Do not forget. Never forgive.
Many thanks to Johnny_Dirtbird for this one:
Good job. One other that I had in mind is the Queen's scout rifle, Lethe Noblesse. The flavor text is "Do not forget. Never forgive." From dictionary.com - Lethe is "a river in Hades whose water caused forgetfulness of the past in those who drank of it." Noblesse is a French word that means nobility. I know it from the phrase 'Noblesse Oblige' - nobility obligates. Putting the words together, my guess would be something like 'forgetfulness of nobility.'
High Road Soldier: The survival of civilization depends on our willingness to choose conscience over expedience.
Per S0rrowS0ng and JohnnyFlack, this is likely a reference to the common idiom (I mean, it bascially defines the concept in the flavor text) 'take the high road'. It could also be a winking reference to the chorus 'The Bonnie Bonnie Banks o' Loch Lomond':
O ye'll tak' the high road, and I'll tak' the low road, And I'll be in Scottland a'fore ye, But me and my true love will never meet again, On the bonnie, bonnie banks o' Loch Lomond.
Zero Point LOTP: This much fun should be outlawed.
thyrandomninja has a great and funny explanation:
I'll do what I can to explain. Every object has "energy levels", whether it be an electron, a molecule, a snooker ball, or a planet. The DIFFERENCE between these energy levels is imperceptible to us because we exist on the macroscopic scale (i.e. we're too big to see tiny differences), so to us it looks continuous. On the microscopic level (e.g. electrons, these energy levels are relatively larger, and much more noticeable, which is what ultimately leads to all the "weird shit" in quantum mechanics, that doesn't show up in real life scenarios). Energy states are usually categorised as n=1, n=2, etc, where n is the number of that energy level. (Electrons NATURALLY tend to operate in n=1 through ~20 [give or take whatever - CERN like to add a few thousand/million/whatever n's in their accelerators :P ] territory, whereas a person is always on n = several fucking million) Zero Point Energy is the energy of an object at n=1. There is no n=0 (for reasons i won't get into here), and therefore no such thing as "having no energy". There is always SOME amount of energy in any given object, and you cannot get rid of it (that "some amount" is negligible compared to things we see in our lives, but that's not the point).
Relating to Life Of The Party, this is probably saying there's no such thing as a dead party. There is always SOME fun to be had, no matter what - the very idea a "life of the party" person would embody.
Alternatively, it could be a jab at the "life of the party" philosophy, by saying that "yeah, there's some fun, but it's negligible, and i'm going to go home", meaning the description takes on a more sarcastic approach.
The Scholar: You can't pull an all-nighter when the sun never sets.
Not really 'literature', but too relevant not to include ;)
Also, per goldenboot76:
Everyone probably knows this already, but the other reasoning behind the Scholar scout rifle's flavour text is the fact that Mercury's orbital period and rotational period are one and the same. As such, half of Mercury is in eternal sunlight, and the other is in eternal darkness.
Hence, the "You can't pull an all-nighter when the sun never sets.".
Thanks for that!
Lampad SR4: Let your enemies know: death will be their only companion.
The Lampads, or Lampedes, were spirits of the underworld in greek mythology. They accompanied Hecate and generally went around doing spooky stuff.
Orphne SR4: If death is the Darkness's way, let our Light defy their desire.
Orphne was a specific nymph of the Greek underworld. Also an alternate translation of Caliga, the goddess of Darkness.
Painted Abbadon SR5: A single-fire Omolon firearm, earned through glory in the Crucible.
Sharing its name with the exotic machine gun, Abbadon is either a "place of destruction" or an Angel of Death. Either way, not pleasant.
Just a quick clarification from westen81, thanks!
Abbadon is most usually associated with the angel of destruction (not necessarily death)..
Painted Sorg SR5: A powerful Omolon firearm, earned through glory in the Crucible.
In a large number of Germanic and Germanic-derived languages, 'sorg' means 'sorrow' or 'grieving'.
Primed Díyú SR5: A long range Omolon firearm, earned through glory in the Crucible.
Following a clear pattern here, 'Diyu' is the Chinese conception of Hell.
Silvered Kín SR5: A highly accurate Omolon firearm, earned through glory in the Crucible.
A Turkic word, it means, simply, 'pain'.
Bronzed Yamaduta SR5: An accurized Omolon Scout Rifle, earned through glory in the Crucible.
The Yamatuda are messengers of Death in the Hindu tradition.
Thanatos SR5: Where Death follows, new life will grow. Where new life grows... Death will follow.
Thanatos is the Greek personification of Death. He is the twin brother of Hypnos, the God of Sleep. Referenced in the Illiad:
... then send Death to carry him away, and Sleep who is painless ...
The Iliad, 16.453-4. Richard Lattimore, translator.
Xibalba SR5: Tiled with picocircuitry, the Xibalba SR5 is fiendishly accurate and hungry to grow.
How many different conceptions of Hell can we find? This particular one refers to the Mayan realm of the dead. It shares its flavor text with the Acheron SR5. The Acheron is both a real river in Greece, but also another one of the five rivers of Hades. The Cocytus (discussed above) flows into it.
Naraka SR5: There will always be new hells to conquer.
hahah, no kidding about those 'new hells'. This specific hell is a particularly diverse amalgamate, finding its place in Hinduism, Jainism, Sikhism, and Buddhism. Modified to 'Neraka' in Indonesian and Malaysian, it also describes the Islamic concept of hell. Moreover, it also describes the servants and spirits of Hell when modified to 'Narakas'.
Garmr SR1: Death is hungry.
Garmr is a dog (or wolf) of the Underworld in Norse mythology. He is, "the blood-stained guardian of Hel's gate".
Shinigami SR1: Death comes for the City's foes. Let's not keep it waiting.
Shinigami–Japanese, 死神–are spirits or gods of death. They invite humans to death, and rule over the underworld. Fans of the anime Death Note will also remember their appearance in that series.

Hand Cannons

The Last Word: "Yours. Not mine." —Renegade Hunter Shin Malphur to Dredgen Yor
Many thanks to andreisse for this one!
I know it's based on a gun, and a speech... I'll try and find it.
The Last Word is likely based on a real-life counterpart called Revolver No. 5. It was a weapon devised in 1928 by Elmer Keith, a "firearms enthusiast" from Idaho renowned for his six-shot expertise. He wrote about this weapon in 1929, in an article titled "The Last Word".
http://destinydb.com/item/3164616405/the-last-word
Here's a link to a .pdf of the article.
Gaheris-D: Balanced and dependable, the Häkke Gaheris-D is a true warrior's weapon.
More Arthurian legends! Gaheris was the nephew of Arthur, and a knight of the round table. He is described as "... valiant, agile, handsome, reticent in speech, prone to excess when angered, and possessing a right arm longer than the left".
Judith-D: Headshots are strongly encouraged with the Häkke Judith-D.
So, there are a lot of things this could be, but most likely it is referencing Judith of Bethulia, an Israelite who beheaded the Assyrian general Holofernes. Headshots strongly encouraged, indeed! Incidentally, that poem is found in the same manuscript as Beowulf–the Nowell Codex.
Kumakatok HC4: When the Omolon Kumakatok HC4 comes knocking, even the Darkness locks its doors.
The kumakatok are three Philippine spirits, who walk from door to door, knocking and bringing bad omens. One is supposed to resemble a young woman, the other two old men–however, they obscure their faces with hoods. Seriously creepy.
The Devil You Know: Let's make a deal ...
A reference to the phrase, "Better the devil you know than the devil you don't", this is the only weapon I know of that actually completes the phrase in game. The Devil You Don't was widely acknowledged to be simply a worse version of TDYK, not only being an impact class lower, but also with worse base range. That's commitment to the joke right there.
Uffern HC4: Omolon's Uffern HC4 sentences the City's enemies to burn.
In what should be a surprise to nobody at this point, Uffern is the Celtic version of Hell. Unfortunately I can't source it beyond a three-word mention in the Wikipedia article on Hell.
A very helpful clarification by Rapstah–much appreciated!
"Uffern" is literally Welsh for "hell". "U" is a near-close central unrounded vowel, or even a short "i" sound in southern Welsh. The sound "f" is represented as "ff" in Welsh, so if you represent it as "yfern" it's clear that it's derived from Latin "infernus".
I wouldn't say it's the Celtic version of Hell, it's literally just what you would call the christian concept of Hell in Welsh.
Byronic Hero: Brood, baby, brood.
A type of anti-hero created and embodied by Lord Byron. Byronic Heroes are: "a man proud, moody, cynical, with defiance on his brow, and misery in his heart, a scorner of his kind, implacable in revenge, yet capable of deep and strong affection". Think Hamlet, with a touch of Han Solo.
Also possibly another more modern reference, per getedm8–thanks!
This may be a stretch, but with the Byronic Hero's flavor text, it could be a reference to Saturday Night Fever. More specifically, the song "Disco Inferno" where the main chorus sings "Burn, baby burn!"
Vortimer-D: Where you come from is not important. It's for what you do that you will be remembered.
Vortimer, or Saint Vortimer, was another English legend. He can be found in Geoffry of Monmouth's Historia Regum Britainniae–my copy of which I've misplaced, apologies–where he is a described as a Britonic king with a strong distaste for Saxons. Worked out well, he died though.
Rience-D: You will not suffer these invader kings to live.
Hey, wait, are you telling me Häkke named another one of their guns after an English legend?! Yes, yes I am: Rience was an English/Irish/Scottish/British king named in Arthurian legend. He is variously described as the king of North Wales, Ireland, and 'many Isles'. He had the habit of edging his robe with the beards of Kings he had conquered–by the time Arthur came along, he had eleven. Arthur's, of course, was to be the twelfth invader king that he would crush. Didn't work out so well. Gosh, I really hope that's not a predictor.
LOCK_ARETE: Her excellence lies in swiftness.
A confusing one, because arete-Greek, ἀρετή–is literally 'excellence', especially in regards to efficacy, but also in terms of bravery. Arete is also the wife of Alcinous of Scheria, described thus in the Odyssey:
... Alkínoös married her and hold her dear. No lady in the world, no other mistress of a man's household, is honored as our mistress is, and loved, by her own children, by Alkínoös, and by the people. When she walks the town they murmur and gaze, as though she were a goddess. No grace or wisdom fails in her; indeed just men quarrels come to her for equity ...
The Odyssey, 7.70-8. Robert Fitzgerald, translator.
It wasn't originally my plan for these to go in descending order of references, but hey, that worked out nicely!
As I said in the beginning, I'm sure I've missed some, so don't hesitate to point them out.
Thanks so much for reading, Guardians, I really appreciate it!
submitted by XKCD_423 to DestinyTheGame [link] [comments]

CANADA DAY 150 EVENT THREAD!

Hey /Vancouver,
Here are some events going on for Canada Day. Some may’ve been found in my other threads like “Bands in Town” and “Food Event Threads”, but here it’s all mashed into one and hopefully easily digestible thread. Normally I separate these type of threads by day, but because there is only one Canada Day I’ve separated it by city. Please note if I left out any city (Aldergrove, Abbotsford, Langley, Maple Ridge, and Pitt Meadows) it’s because I’ve deemed you too far away and urge you to come back to civilization.
I know there are events happening all around July 1st and spilling into the 2nd/3rd but… this is only for July 1st.
Burnaby
Canada Day Celebration @ Edmonds Community Centre – FREE
Canada Day Celebrations at the Burnaby Village Museum @ Burnaby Village Museum - FREE
Concert & Fireworks @ Swangard Stadium – FREE
Coquitlam
Celebrating Canada’s 150th Birthday @ Town Centre Park – FREE
Canada Day Skate @ Poirier Sport & Leisure Complex - $2 including rentals
Delta Region
Picnic @ Diefenbaker Park – By Donation
Celebration @ Kirkland House – FREE
Canada Celebration @ Chambers Park – FREE
New Westminister
Canada Day Celebrations @ Queens Park – FREE
Canada Day Celebrations @ River Market – Free
North Vancouver
Canada Day Parade @ Grand Boulevard and 13th Street – Free
Celebrating Canada 150 @ Waterfront Park – Free
Canada Day @ Grouse Mountain - $44.95 – Assuming you need to buy a pass
Port Coquitlam
Pancake Breakfast @ Lion’s Park - Free
Canada 150 Celebration @ Castle Park - Free
Port Moody
City of Port Moody presents Canada Day @ Rocky Point Park – Free
41st Annual Golden Spike Days @ Rocky Point Park – By Donation
Richmond
Canada Day in Steveston @ Steveston Village – Free
Celebrate Canada 150 @ Richmond Nightmarket - $3.75
Surrey
Largest Western Canada Day Celebration @ Bill Reid Millennium Amphitheatre – Free
Senior’s Strawberry Tea @ Cloverdale Recreation Centre – Free
Dominion Days Festival @ Historic Steward Farm – Free
Surrey’s Heritage Rail @ Cloverdale Station - $5, $10, and $15
Vancouver
Canada Day Fireworks at Coal Harbour - Free
Canada Day @ Canada Place – Free
Canada Day Cookout @ Olympic Village - $10 - $59
Disco Party @ IE Creative - Granville Island – FREE
Canada Day Block Party @ Waldorf - $20
*Block Party at the Waldof
Drumming Circle @ Creekside Park – Free
Canada Day @ Sunset Community Centre – Free
Canada Day Britannia Community Services @ Grandview Park – Free
Canada Day Kensington Community Centre @ Renfew Park – Free
Canada Day Run @ Pacific Spirit Park - $40
OWN CANADA DAY @ Caprice - $Free if RSVP
Canada Day @ Royal Canadian Mint – Free
Canada Day @ Robson Street – Free
The Nite Show – Canada Day @ Venue – Free if you’re on the list
Canada Day Boat Party + Fireworks + Dinner + Entertainment @ Abitibi - $70
Canada Day Live Swing and Jazz @ Kino Café – Free
The Ultimate Canada Day and Night Party @ Plaza of Nations - $120 - $180
Poutine Party @ The Cobalt - Free
Canada Day Boat Party @ LCU Nightlife/Plaza of Nations - $35
Minecraft Canada Day @ River District Centre – FREE
Canada Day Pool Party @ Drai’s Beach Club - $25
West Vancouver
Picnic @ John Lawson Park – Free
Celebrate Canada Day @ Horseshoe Bay - Free
submitted by Perdin to vancouver [link] [comments]

🔥✨Reddit Dragula S2 - MTQ Part One✨🔥

Las Vegas, Nevada DAY 1 | 11:00PM
The camera pans through a luxurious, vast casino. High class socialites were walking around, holding an expensive martini in their hands, talking to each other with such a posh tone, poised as if they were ready for a photo-shoot. One woman in particular stood out from the others, the back of her being seen, a long, crimson dress tail resting on the floor with a sheer, transparent overlay that had been rhinestoned. She was leaning on a table, where a large oak wheel was sat with the names Angelique, Bianca, Marianna and Euthanasia placed around the outline. A close up of her elegant nails, that were that long they were almost claw like, was shown, as she spun the wheel. The pointer lands on Bianca.
”Really? Her! She’s not winning, no thanks.” She slams down onto the table, about to grab the wheel once again but within frustration, disrupted mid-way by her phone that rings without a caller ID. She answers the phone, frowning as a faint mutter emits from the speakers. The scene cuts to her outside, following the echoing clatter of her heels in the street as she steps into her car, storming down the roads and through the desert. The air was intoxicated with masses of sand, the speed of her car whipping up opaque whirlwinds of it across the road. She turns on the radio, ‘Your Sex Is On Fire’ by Kings Of Leon playing, as she turns down a dodgy side road with a worn out town sign that was unreadable. One would question where she was going, but this was Anastasia. Where hasn't she been?
”I thought I covered my tracks with these damn girls from season one. That pit crew when they see me are getting more than what they really want.” She slams the car door, turning around and walking into the village. No one was there, it was completely vacant. The sense of eeriness was depleted the second she step foot within the land, Anastasia witnessing the rubble from the neglected buildings that stare at her, awaiting for something to happen. She opens the door of the biggest building, entering and pulling out a pistol that was equipped with a torch. The narrow light exposed bodies of past queens, her counting to see who was missing.
”Christina isn't here, nor is Rain or even Annie. Why did someone finally decide to take out the trash?”
A quiet cry, or what someone could consider a yelp, emits from the corner. Anastasia gasps, pointing the torch towards what was an empty area.
”Come out wherever you are, don’t be afraid, I promise it’s not Chrystal.”
She turns around to the door that had swung open, her running outside and seeing the three girls on the floor, crawling their malnourished selfs towards the car. She stomps her heel down into Christina's gown, making her wait.
”Well, casting for season two was happening earlier, I guess we need some queens to go home first.”
Annie turns around and frowns at her.
“We’re not filler, you absolut-”
“Exactly, I mean they are, I’m not. I’ll gladly return, I mean, just look at me.” Rain blushes at herself. “I’m still hot, even though I’ve been starving for almost a year!” She giggles, expecting people to follow lead and realising none of them found it funny.
An abrupt sounds of an exhaust can be heard, a sheek-matte black sports car pulling up besides the girls and almost hitting Anastasia. The car door opens, a click of a heel can be heard. The scent of new blood… had never been so sweet.
The unknown queen, that stepped out of the car, all-white look is inspired by 1920s fashion; she is wearing a short beaded dress with a drop waist and a fringed skirt and has a fluffy faux-fur stole draped around her shoulders, and her shoes are white leather d’orsay heels with ankle straps. She also has on quite a few accessories, including several pearl necklaces, a headband with an ostrich plume tucked into it, a silver signet ring engraved with the Symbol of Nyarlathotep, and opera gloves. Bloodstains cover her gloves nearly up to the elbows as well as the front of her dress, and splatters of blood can be seen on her face and body as well. Her hair is a platinum-blond bob, her nails are painted bright red, and she is wearing golden-yellow contact lenses and has a set of sharp prosthetic teeth in her mouth.
The scene fades out, showing another in the confessional room.
”My name is Starry Wisdom, also known as Lauren_Crabtree, I’m 23 years old, and I’m the eldritch whore of the Twin Cities. In three words, I would describe my drag as conceptual, kinky, and geeky—I usually try to tell a story when I perform, I sometimes incorporate my interest in BDSM into my drag, and I draw a fair amount of inspiration from horror fiction, especially the works of Bryan Fuller, Sara Bardi, Guillermo Del Toro, and H.P. Lovecraft. I joined Dragula Season 2 because I have a passion for all things dark and weird, and drag is one of the ways I share that enthusiasm with the world. I wouldn’t say I represent one pillar of Dragula more than others; rather, I tend to combine them. Quite often, you’ll see me wearing grotesque SFX makeup that makes me look like something straight out of an H.P. Lovecraft story and then pairing it with an outfit that would more commonly be seen on someone more conventionally attractive. I try to avoid drama when I can, but if I feel like one of my fellow contestants is doing something morally wrong, I will let her know even if it might lead to a disagreement. Aside from that, though, I’m here to compete, have fun, showcase my creativity, and maybe sacrifice someone to the Outer Gods while I’m at it.”
The queen beside her also steps forward.
She walks up from the darkness wearing a long dark black cloak with massive shoulders and dark cowl with a fake raven perched on my shoulder. There are two red wax horns coming out of the sides of my head as if she were the devil. She is wearing tight black leather pants and black army boots. As she steps closer you can see there is a blood red wax dripped pentagram dripped onto my chest. Her eye makeup is reminiscent of Alaska’s runway for All Stars 2 Episode 2 with a dark band of black across my face and blood dripping from my eyes with a dark lip and harsh black cheek contour. Her teeth are prosthetic pointed fangs that look sharp enough to cut diamonds. Her hair is short and black straying out upwards like if Brendon Urie didn’t comb his hair. From the leather pant pocket she pulls out a skull shaped lighter and light the cloak on fire. She lets the cloak burn as she stands there letting the wax drip down her chest cackling as the raven on my shoulder burns to pieces and the horns drip to the floor. She is here to bring true horror to the competition.
”Hey! I’m Hettie Ro Phobic, also known as Panicatthemetro, and my age is none of your business. My drag in three words is… Genderfuck, Goth and Geek. I joined Reddit Dragula Season 2 because I like winning. I represent all subtopics of Dragula, mostly horror though. I want to compete to be iconic. Win or lose, you’re gonna remember me.”
The confessionals fade out
”Two new girls? I didn’t order any though.” Anastasia exclaims, looking at the two. They both look her up and down in awe, speechless, but turning back to their car and opening the door, gesturing them inwards. Christina awkwardly steps in, sitting down on the warm leather seat, her eyes searching the stars that appeared in front of her as the roof started to fold away.
“Enjoy it, this is the only time you’ll be able to relax before I send you home in the competition.’ Hettie turns to look at Christina, Starry hitting her jokingly to warn her to stop.
“Just ignore her girls, she’ll be first out. Literally, like out of the car if she doesn’t stop.” Starry jokes.
“Where are we going girls? Me and Christina don’t have any debates to get to.” Rain asks, waiting for an answer. Annie cackles, looking her up and down.
“I can't wait for you to be eliminated.”
“And I can’t wait for me to finally get the Dragula crown.” Rain replies.
Anastasia turns up the radio louder over their voices as they drive off into the distance. The whipped up sand forming ‘Dragula Season 2’ on the screen.
CHRISTINA ANNIE RAIN HETTIE RO PHOBIC STARRY WISDOM
Welcome to 5 members of our Dragula cast, the next part coming soon!
submitted by bbukrpdr to RDRInteractiveSeason [link] [comments]

🔥✨Reddit Dragula S2 - MTQ Part One✨🔥

Las Vegas, Nevada DAY 1 | 11:00PM
The camera pans through a luxurious, vast casino. High class socialites were walking around, holding an expensive martini in their hands, talking to each other with such a posh tone, poised as if they were ready for a photo-shoot. One woman in particular stood out from the others, the back of her being seen, a long, crimson dress tail resting on the floor with a sheer, transparent overlay that had been rhinestoned. She was leaning on a table, where a large oak wheel was sat with the names Angelique, Bianca, Marianna and Euthanasia placed around the outline. A close up of her elegant nails, that were that long they were almost claw like, was shown, as she spun the wheel. The pointer lands on Bianca.
”Really? Her! She’s not winning, no thanks.” She slams down onto the table, about to grab the wheel once again but within frustration, disrupted mid-way by her phone that rings without a caller ID. She answers the phone, frowning as a faint mutter emits from the speakers. The scene cuts to her outside, following the echoing clatter of her heels in the street as she steps into her car, storming down the roads and through the desert. The air was intoxicated with masses of sand, the speed of her car whipping up opaque whirlwinds of it across the road. She turns on the radio, ‘Your Sex Is On Fire’ by Kings Of Leon playing, as she turns down a dodgy side road with a worn out town sign that was unreadable. One would question where she was going, but this was Anastasia. Where hasn't she been?
”I thought I covered my tracks with these damn girls from season one. That pit crew when they see me are getting more than what they really want.” She slams the car door, turning around and walking into the village. No one was there, it was completely vacant. The sense of eeriness was depleted the second she step foot within the land, Anastasia witnessing the rubble from the neglected buildings that stare at her, awaiting for something to happen. She opens the door of the biggest building, entering and pulling out a pistol that was equipped with a torch. The narrow light exposed bodies of past queens, her counting to see who was missing.
”Christina isn't here, nor is Rain or even Annie. Why did someone finally decide to take out the trash?”
A quiet cry, or what someone could consider a yelp, emits from the corner. Anastasia gasps, pointing the torch towards what was an empty area.
”Come out wherever you are, don’t be afraid, I promise it’s not Chrystal.”
She turns around to the door that had swung open, her running outside and seeing the three girls on the floor, crawling their malnourished selfs towards the car. She stomps her heel down into Christina's gown, making her wait.
”Well, casting for season two was happening earlier, I guess we need some queens to go home first.”
Annie turns around and frowns at her.
“We’re not filler, you absolut-”
“Exactly, I mean they are, I’m not. I’ll gladly return, I mean, just look at me.” Rain blushes at herself. “I’m still hot, even though I’ve been starving for almost a year!” She giggles, expecting people to follow lead and realising none of them found it funny.
An abrupt sounds of an exhaust can be heard, a sheek-matte black sports car pulling up besides the girls and almost hitting Anastasia. The car door opens, a click of a heel can be heard. The scent of new blood… had never been so sweet.
The unknown queen, that stepped out of the car, all-white look is inspired by 1920s fashion; she is wearing a short beaded dress with a drop waist and a fringed skirt and has a fluffy faux-fur stole draped around her shoulders, and her shoes are white leather d’orsay heels with ankle straps. She also has on quite a few accessories, including several pearl necklaces, a headband with an ostrich plume tucked into it, a silver signet ring engraved with the Symbol of Nyarlathotep, and opera gloves. Bloodstains cover her gloves nearly up to the elbows as well as the front of her dress, and splatters of blood can be seen on her face and body as well. Her hair is a platinum-blond bob, her nails are painted bright red, and she is wearing golden-yellow contact lenses and has a set of sharp prosthetic teeth in her mouth.
The scene fades out, showing another in the confessional room.
”My name is Starry Wisdom, also known as Lauren_Crabtree, I’m 23 years old, and I’m the eldritch whore of the Twin Cities. In three words, I would describe my drag as conceptual, kinky, and geeky—I usually try to tell a story when I perform, I sometimes incorporate my interest in BDSM into my drag, and I draw a fair amount of inspiration from horror fiction, especially the works of Bryan Fuller, Sara Bardi, Guillermo Del Toro, and H.P. Lovecraft. I joined Dragula Season 2 because I have a passion for all things dark and weird, and drag is one of the ways I share that enthusiasm with the world. I wouldn’t say I represent one pillar of Dragula more than others; rather, I tend to combine them. Quite often, you’ll see me wearing grotesque SFX makeup that makes me look like something straight out of an H.P. Lovecraft story and then pairing it with an outfit that would more commonly be seen on someone more conventionally attractive. I try to avoid drama when I can, but if I feel like one of my fellow contestants is doing something morally wrong, I will let her know even if it might lead to a disagreement. Aside from that, though, I’m here to compete, have fun, showcase my creativity, and maybe sacrifice someone to the Outer Gods while I’m at it.”
The queen beside her also steps forward.
She walks up from the darkness wearing a long dark black cloak with massive shoulders and dark cowl with a fake raven perched on my shoulder. There are two red wax horns coming out of the sides of my head as if she were the devil. She is wearing tight black leather pants and black army boots. As she steps closer you can see there is a blood red wax dripped pentagram dripped onto my chest. Her eye makeup is reminiscent of Alaska’s runway for All Stars 2 Episode 2 with a dark band of black across my face and blood dripping from my eyes with a dark lip and harsh black cheek contour. Her teeth are prosthetic pointed fangs that look sharp enough to cut diamonds. Her hair is short and black straying out upwards like if Brendon Urie didn’t comb his hair. From the leather pant pocket she pulls out a skull shaped lighter and light the cloak on fire. She lets the cloak burn as she stands there letting the wax drip down her chest cackling as the raven on my shoulder burns to pieces and the horns drip to the floor. She is here to bring true horror to the competition.
”Hey! I’m Hettie Ro Phobic, also known as Panicatthemetro, and my age is none of your business. My drag in three words is… Genderfuck, Goth and Geek. I joined Reddit Dragula Season 2 because I like winning. I represent all subtopics of Dragula, mostly horror though. I want to compete to be iconic. Win or lose, you’re gonna remember me.”
The confessionals fade out
”Two new girls? I didn’t order any though.” Anastasia exclaims, looking at the two. They both look her up and down in awe, speechless, but turning back to their car and opening the door, gesturing them inwards. Christina awkwardly steps in, sitting down on the warm leather seat, her eyes searching the stars that appeared in front of her as the roof started to fold away.
“Enjoy it, this is the only time you’ll be able to relax before I send you home in the competition.’ Hettie turns to look at Christina, Starry hitting her jokingly to warn her to stop.
“Just ignore her girls, she’ll be first out. Literally, like out of the car if she doesn’t stop.” Starry jokes.
“Where are we going girls? Me and Christina don’t have any debates to get to.” Rain asks, waiting for an answer. Annie cackles, looking her up and down.
“I can't wait for you to be eliminated.”
“And I can’t wait for me to finally get the Dragula crown.” Rain replies.
Anastasia turns up the radio louder over their voices as they drive off into the distance. The whipped up sand forming ‘Dragula Season 2’ on the screen.
CHRISTINA ANNIE RAIN HETTIE RO PHOBIC STARRY WISDOM
Welcome to 5 members of our Dragula cast, the next part coming soon!
submitted by bbukrpdr to RPDRfantasyseason [link] [comments]

Part 25

Sorry for updating a new part so quickly.They come too fast.(Any logos change again I already shared?)
https://www.grammarly.com/blog/dice-die/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nice_'n_Easy_(hair_coloring)
https://softwareengineeringdaily.com/2017/06/29/instacart-data-science-with-jeremy-stanley/
https://www.instacart.com/clackamas-ocash-carry
http://qctimes.com/places/business_professional_services/general/tpc-cash-carry-davenport/business_1110995278.html
https://www.amazon.com/Selsun-Blue-Moisturizing-Dandruff-Shampoo/dp/B001TSNM34
https://www.amazon.com/ACT-Restoring-Mouthwash-Splash-18-Ounce/dp/B001MIZMJS
http://movies.disney.com/robin-hood
https://dawn-dish.com/en-us/products/by-line/hand-renewal-lavender-scent
https://www.campbells.com/spaghettios/
https://www.friskies.com/
https://www.chewy.com/fancy-feast-grilled-tuna-feast-in-/dp/103968
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.pinterest.com/amp/pin/271975264969713567/
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:SunTrust_Banks_logo.svg
http://logonoid.com/dirt-devil-logo/
http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread1086257/pg1
https://www.amazon.com/Hostess-Cup-Cakes-12-6-oz/dp/B0005ZHOUO
https://www.clublexus.com/forums/sc-1st-gen-1992-2000/289940-diy-gold-emblems-to-chrome-in-about-3-hours.html
https://g35driver.com/forums/g35-coupe-v35-2003-07/315391-powdercoated-my-rims-gold.html
https://dribbble.com/shots/1597039-Two-story-g
4640.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember there not being photos of people born in the 1700's?(Was there not audio of the National Anthem being sung from the 1800's?)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2Cj0sEomPVU
4641.(Bubble Tea name change.)Do you remember the P in Pom not being broken?(Does the O look off?)(Anything else off?)
https://www.pomwonderful.com/
4642.(Music Lyrics change.)"I'm slipping into the twilight zone."/"I'm stepping into the twilight zone."(Other lyrics?)("Under moon and stars."/"Under moon and star.")
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=trzfGBCmol4
4643.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember there not being photos of New York from the 1880's?(Any of the other images seem off?)
http://mashable.com/2017/10/21/new-york-in-motion/#7H_PsFsnXmqI
http://www.loc.gov/pictures/item/2004663914/
http://www.loc.gov/pictures/related/?q=Portrait%20photographs--1840-1860.&fi=formats
4644 .(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember there not being photos of soldiers from the Revolutionary War from the 1800's?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2356524/Faces-American-revolution-Amazing-early-photographs-document-heroes-War-Independence-later-years.html
4645.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember there not being quality footage of Ireland from 1901?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=H63kDwhgbes
4646.(Famous Television Presenter name change.)Andy Peters/Andi Peters
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andi_Peters
4647.(Fictional Character name change.)Ed The Duck/Edd The Duck
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edd_the_Duck
4648.(Company name change.)Husqovarna/Husqvarna(Do any of the letters look off?)
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Husqvarna_Group
4649.(Music Lyrics change.)"If I could put time in a bottle."/"If I could save time in a bottle."
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dO1rMeYnOmM
4650.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember there not being a void in the great pyramid?
https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/11/great-pyramid-giza-void-discovered-khufu-archaeology-science/
4651.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember the current upcoming season of Game Of Thrones being the final season?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Game_of_Thrones
4652.(Movie name change.)Cabin In The Woods/The Cabin In The Woods
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cabin_in_the_Woods
4653.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Kurt Cobain not having a sister?(Did he not have siblings at all?)
http://dailyentertainmentnews.com/music/kim-cobain-nirvanas-kurt-cobains-siste
4654.(T.V. Show name change.)Seseame Street/Sesame Street
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sesame_Street
4655.(Music Lyrics change.)"There's gotta a little rain sometimes."/"There's gotta be a little rain sometime."
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Wt-D6qBELi0
4656.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember the Medal Of Honor being different?(Is it the Congressional Medal Of Honor or the Medal Of Honor for you?)
http://www.cmohs.org
4657.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember there not being photos of New York in 1886?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hvoNfh5443c
4658.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember the pictures on the wanted posters in The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly being drawings instead of being real?(Video below.)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qzMnd122i2o
4659.(Music Lyrics change )"It's not what you take when you leave this world behind you, it's what you leave behind you when you're gone."/"It's not what you take when you leave this world behind you, it's what you leave behind when you go."
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cP8lCapcqwM
4660.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember parrots not living in Alpine mountain regions?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kea
4661.(New species.)Have you heard of the Sea Mouse?
http://www.quekett.org/resources/article-archive/bsw-2016/bsw16-sea-mouse-hairs
4662.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember the four horsemen of the Apocalypse being Pestilence, War, Famine and Death instead of being War, Famine, Death and Conquest?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Horsemen_of_the_Apocalypse
4663.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember there not being stone churches buried under hundreds of feet in Ethiopia?
https://hiddenincatours.com/the-astonishing-lalibela-monolithic-stone-churches-of-ethiopia/
4664.(Music Lyrics change.)"I can hear it calling in the air tonight."/"I can feel it coming in the air tonight."(Was it something else?)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YkADj0TPrJA
4665.(Song Title change.)Life Is Life/Live Is Life
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EGikhmjTSZI
4666.(Movie name change.)The Ghost In The Darkness/The Ghost And The Darkness(Was there not a "The" in the title?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ghost_and_the_Darkness
4667.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember there not being a silent film from 1910 known as The Wizard Of Oz?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HEcRRDeqHDs
4668.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember mailing children being legal in the 1900's not being a thing?
https://www.snopes.com/photos/people/mailingchildren.asp
4669.(Company Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Aramark not being connected?
https://www.google.com/amp/s/seekingalpha.com/amp/article/3987363-aramark-set-take
4670.(Company Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Fastenal not being connected?
https://twitter.com/fastenalcompany
4671.(Bank Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Bank Of The West not being connected?(Does the other logo look off?)
https://www.juniorachievement.org/web/ja-socal/key-donors
4672.(Beer name change.)Mickey's/Mickeys(Do you remember the letters not being connected?)
https://www.ratebeer.com/beemickeys-fine-malt-liquo2465/
4673.(Beer Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Carta Blanca not being connected?(Do any of the other logos look off?)
https://az.crescentcrown.com/brands/brand-detail/?brand_id=218
Add-On: Do you remember T.G.I. Friday's instead of T.G.I. Fridays?(Was it T.G.I. instead of TGI?)
https://www.tgifridays.com/
4674.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember waiters and waitresses not asking "How's everything tasting"?(Did they only ask "How is everything"?)
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-waiters-everywhere-now-ask-How-is-everything-tasting-in-just-those-words
Add-On: Do you remember "Terminator" instead of "The Terminator"?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Terminator
Add-On: Do you remember the & being normal in Darigold Half & Half?
http://www.darigold.com/products/half-and-half-creamers/half-and-half-pint
4675.(Soup Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Progresso not being connected?
http://forthemommas.com/store-deals/weis-markets/weis-progresso-soup-0-50
4676.(White Supremacy Group name change.)Aryan Nation/Aryan Nations
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aryan_Nations
4677.(Fictional Character appearance change.)Do you remember Frankenstein's Monster having bolts in his neck instead of a metal pipe?(Was Frankenstein the monster instead of the creator?)(Were they in his head?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frankenstein%27s_monster
4678.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember lightning being one mile away if it was one minute before you heard it?(Does it work differently now?)
http://www.eo.ucar.edu/kids/dangerwx/tstorm6.htm
4679.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember baby horses being called ponies instead of foals?(Anything else off about any of this?)
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foal
Add-On: Do you remember vehicles in the 1800's being mainly powered by horses and electricity?(Do the trolleys and cars seem off?)(Video below.)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eVMEyXe1bKw
4680.(Movie Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Independence Day being normal?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116629/
4681.(Music Lyrics change.)"Memories of it still keep callin' and callin'."/"Memories of it still keep calling and calling."
http://www.lyricsfreak.com/s/squeeze/tempted_20129217.html
4682.(Music Lyrics change.)"I will follow you into the dark."/"I'll follow you into the dark."
https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/deathcabforcutie/iwillfollowyouintothedark.html
4683.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Madness by Muse sounding different in the beginning?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ek0SgwWmF9w
4684.(Music Lyrics change.)"You the hottest ho in this place."/"You the hottest bitch in this place."
https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/robinthicke/blurredlines.html
4685.(Duo name change.)The Pet Shop Boys/Pet Shop Boys(Do any of the logos look off?)
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pet_Shop_Boys
4686.(Pop Band name change.)The Tears For Fears/Tears For Fears(Do any of the logos look off?)
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tears_for_Fears
4687.(Movie Quote change.)"I see white people."/"I see dead people."
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vw9U5DnvsJw
4688.(Musical name change.)The Jersey Boys/Jersey Boys
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jersey_Boys
4689.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Nintendo not being founded in 1889?(Was it 1899?)(Was it the 1970's?)(Is anything else about the company off to you?)
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nintendo
4690.(Thrift Store Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Savers not being connected?
https://www.yelp.com/biz/savers-commack
4691.(Theme Song Lyrics change.)"Yo Danny Fenton he was just 14."/"Young Danny Fenton he was just 14."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danny_Phantom
4692.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember the possessed girl in The Exorcist not having a feeding tube?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Exorcist_(film)
4693.(Phantom t.v. show quote.)Do you remember the robot in Lost In Space saying "Danger! Will Robinson"?(Did he say it more than once?)(Does the robot look off?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWwOJlOI1nU
4694.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember having to boil an egg for only 3 minutes?
https://www.deliciousmeetshealthy.com/how-to-make-perfect-hard-boiled-eggs/
4695.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember the Fallen Astronaut not being a thing?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fallen_Astronaut
4696.(Phantom t.v. show quote.)Do you remember Mr. T saying "I pity the fool!" on The A-Team?
http://uproxx.com/hitfix/timeless-questions-did-mr-t-ever-actually-say-i-pity-the-fool-on-the-a-team/
Add-On: Do you remember The Beastie Boys instead of Beastie Boys?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beastie_Boys
4697.(Musical Duo name change.)Hall & Oates/Hall And Oates/Daryl Hall & John Oates/Daryl Hall And John Oates
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hall_%26_Oates
4698.(Company Logo change.)Do you remember there being a dash under the C in Rand McNally instead of a dot?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rand_McNally
4699.(Phantom movie.)Do you remember Halloween Is Grinch Night not being a thing?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween_Is_Grinch_Night
4700.(Rock Band Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Black Flag not being connected?(Do any of the logos look off?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween_Is_Grinch_Night
4701.(T.V. Show Quote change.)"You bubble-headed ninny!"/"You bubble-headed booby!"(Does the logo look off?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lost_in_Space
4702.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Oscar The Grouch not originally being orange?(Did he have arms at the start of the show?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oscar_the_Grouch
4703.(Phantom fictional character.)Do you remember Professor not being a McDonald's character?(Was he "The Professor"?)(Did Ronald McDonald have buttons on his shirt instead of a zipper shirt?)
http://mcdonalds.wikia.com/wiki/Professor
Add-On: Do you remember the R in Rold Gold being different?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rold_Gold
4704.(New species.)Have you heard of the white whale?(Have you heard of the white dolphin?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_white_dolphin
4705.(Song name change.)Unforgiven/The Unforgiven
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Unforgiven_(song)
4706.(Cologne name change.)Brüt/Brut
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brut_(cologne)
4707.(Hair Care Product name change.)Pantene(With accent above first E.)/Pantene
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantene
Add-On: Do you remember the Y and Q in Dairy Queen being normal?
http://logos.wikia.com/wiki/Dairy_Queen
4708.(Movie Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in The Devil Wears Prada not being connected?(Any of the letters look off?)
https://pmcdeadline2.files.wordpress.com/2017/01/the_devil_wears_prada_poster.jpg
4709.(Movie Logo change.)Do you remember the A in Excalibur being normal?(Any of the other letters look off?)
https://resizing.flixster.com/Si6PkLvti_VRTDFVaKEp-WhkpKY=/206x305/v1.bTsxMTM3MjM5MDtqOzE3NTkxOzEyMDA7MTgwMDsyNDAw
4710.(Commercial Quote change.)"Pardon me, but do you have any grey Poupon?"/"Pardon me, do you have any grey Poupon?"/"Pardon me, would you have any grey Poupon?"(Was it something else?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmOHeWrr9V4
4711.(Celebrity death date change.)Do you remember Malcolm Young dying before November 2017?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malcolm_Young
4712.(History change.)Do you remember hundreds of prisoners being freed during the Storming of the Bastille instead of only 7?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiTXftPAB8g
Add-On: Do you remember the letters in Game Boy Advance not being connected?(Do the letters in Game Boy Player look off?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Game_Boy_Advance
4713.(Logo change.)Do you remember the B in Dolby Digital not being broken?
http://www.axiomaudio.com/media/wysiwyg/Dolby-Digital-Logo.svg.png
4714.(Celebrity death date change.)Do you remember Charles Manson dying before 2017?(Was it the mid 2000's?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Manson
4715.(Famous Singer name change.)Lisa Gerrald/Lisa Gerrard
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lisa_Gerrard
Add-On: Do you remember Shaggy saying "Zoiks!" instead of "Zoinks!"?(Was his real name Shaggy instead of Norville?)
Add-On: Do you remember Donald Duck wearing a scarf instead of a bow tie?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Duck
4716.(Movie Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Scary Movie not being connected?(Anything else off?)(Do the letters in Scream look off?)
http://logos.wikia.com/wiki/Scary_Movie_(film_series)
http://logos.wikia.com/wiki/Scream_(film_series)
4717.(Album name change.)Tales From The Topographic Ocean/Tales From Topographic Oceans
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tales_from_Topographic_Oceans
4718.(Celebrity death that happen.)Do you remember Yoko Ono dying after John Lennon in 1980?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yoko_Ono
Add-On: Do you remember any of this stuff not being around at the time?(Videos below.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1b5WxrVSec
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99-E5OHaSl8
4719.(Movie name change.)Cats Vs. Dogs/Cat & Dogs(Was it Cats And Dogs?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cats_%26_Dogs
4720.(City name change.)Philladelphia, Pennsylvania/Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philadelphia
4721.(Country name change.)Brazil/Brasil(The latter is the preferred spelling.)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazil
4722.(Country name change.)EquadoEcuador
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ecuador
4723.(Country name change.)Coasta Rica/Costa Rica
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Costa_Rica
4724.(Country name change.)Uraguay/Uruguay
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uruguay
4725.(Rock Band name change.)The Newsboys/Newsboys
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newsboys
4726.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember there not being an American version of The Beatles known as American Beetles?(Was it The American Beetles or American Beetles?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCb-zVUwQhk
4727.(Rock Band name change.)Smashing Pumpkins/The Smashing Pumpkins(Do you remember their songs being spelled correctly?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Smashing_Pumpkins
4728.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember upside down Christmas trees not being a thing?
https://fthmb.tqn.com/XUtAaJhL_VzFMfxB5F5_idd_ADE=/960x0/filters:no_upscale()/upside-down-tree-56a279823df78cf772767744.jpg
4729.(Company Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Pioneer being normal?
http://logos.wikia.com/wiki/Pioneer
4730.(Company Logo change.)Do you remember the R in Sharp having a closed line?
http://logos.wikia.com/wiki/Sharp_Corporation
4731.(Company Logo change.)Do you remember the R in Brinks Home Security having a closed line?(Did the B have a closed line?)
https://alarm-reviews.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Brinks-Home-Security.jpg
4732.(Music Lyrics change.)"Open up your eyes."/"Open up your eye."
http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/robert_knight/everlasting_love.html
4733.(Music Lyrics change.)"Been spending most their lives living in a gangster's paradise."/"Been standing most their lives living in the gangster's paradise."
https://genius.com/Coolio-gangstas-paradise-lyrics
4734.(Music Lyrics change.)"Oh we, I'mma take you home with me."/"And then, I'mma take you home with me."
https://genius.com/T-pain-buy-u-a-drank-shawty-snappin-lyrics
4735.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Nitrogen making up 70% of Earth's atmosphere instead of 78%?(Anything else about this off?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atmosphere_of_Earth
4736.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember water with salt in it boiling quicker than regular water?
https://www.livescience.com/56214-does-salt-make-water-boil-faster.html
4737.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember getting nightmares from eating cheese before bed?
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20120417-does-cheese-give-you-nightmares
4738.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember inflatable tanks not being used in any war?(Was information from 1896-1901 not found on any camera?)(Videos below.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NW7pq4EJLRs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMFpyHDHhHI
4739.(Movie Quote change.)"That's what I love about high school girls. I keep getting older, they stay the same age."/"That's what I love about these high school girls man. I get older, they stay the same age. "
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Wf-mRo7C2I
4740.(Music Lyrics change.)"All my friends know the low rider."/"All my friend know the low rider."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ro4yhp9L6Ok
4741.(Music Lyrics change.)"Why can't we be friends?"/"Why can't we befriend?"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DmYLrxR0Y8
4742.(Music Lyrics change.)"And pretend that he is Parson Brown."/"And pretend that he's a circus clown."(Any of the other lyrics seem off?)
http://www.metrolyrics.com/winter-wonderland-lyrics-bing-crosby.html
4743.(Song Title change.)We Wish You A Merry Christmas/I Wish You A Merry Christmas("We won't go until we get some."/"We won't go until we got some.")
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXERRcpXRiA
4744.(Phantom music lyrics.)Do you remember "Until then, we'll have to muddle through somehow." not being said in Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas by Bing Crosby?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kz65UdsF45k
4745.(Music Lyrics change.)"Baby Jesus."/"Baby Jay-Zu."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cag2FvYwuZs
4746.(Music Lyrics change.)"And they stay there."/"And they say yeah."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGXzlRoNtHU
4747.(Famous Singer name change.)Ricky Nelson/Rick Nelson(Do any of his logos look off?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ricky_Nelson
4748.(Rock Band Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Pop Evil not being connected?(Do any of their other logos look off?)("It's a matter of fact, life is moving too fast."/"It's a matter of fact, there's no more life that I have.")
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pop_Evil
4749.(Pop Group name change.)The Spice Girls/Spice Girls(Do any of their logos look off?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spice_Girls
4750.(Music Lyrics change.)"And we can build this dream together."/"And we can build this thing together."(Do any of their logos look off?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghvgSTHksfw
Add-On: Do you remember John Lennon never being in love with May Pang?(Was he only in love with Yoko Ono?)(Have you heard of May Pang?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/May_Pang
4751.(Candy Bar name change.)Carmello/Caramello(Do any of the logos look off?)
https://assets.bonappetit.com/photos/57f3bbe68814db59579fdf69/mastew_1200,c_limit/10047963294_5628698512_b.jpg
4752.(Celebrity death that didn't happen.)Do you remember Larry Flynt dying?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_Flynt
4753.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember text messaging not being around in 1992?(Was the first text message "Hello world." and not "Merry Christmas."?)
https://www.edn.com/electronics-blogs/edn-moments/4402146/1st-text-message-is-sent--December-3--1992
4754.(Spelling change.)Prophecy/Prophesy
https://www.vocabulary.com/articles/chooseyourwords/prophecy-prophesy/
4755.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember The Beatles not originally being known as the Silver Beatles?(Were they not known as the Blackjacks, Quarrymen, Johnny And The Moondogs, Silver Beetles, Beatals?)(Did they have a "The" before Blackjacks, Quarrymen, Moondogs, Silver Beetles, Silver Beatles and Beatals?)
http://beatles.wikia.com/wiki/The_Silver_Beetles
4756.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Don't Leave Me This Way being sung by Donna Summer instead of Thelma Houston?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLzbKm56dLI
4757.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Bitch being sung by Alanis Morissette instead of Meredith Brooks?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ivt_N2Zcts
4758.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Creep being sung by Nirvana instead of Stone Temple Pilots?(Was it The Stone Temple Pilots?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sT1DdO3SISg
4759.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Teenage Dirtbag being sung by Weezer instead of Wheatus?(Was it "Dirtbag" and not "Dirt bag"?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FC3y9llDXuM
4760.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember I Swear being sung by Boyz ll Men instead of All-4-One?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25rL-ooWICU
4761.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember A Horse With No Name being sung by Neil Young instead of America?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSAJ0l4OBHM
4762.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember The Warrior being sung by Pat Benator instead of Scandal and Patty Smyth?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47y5bo8wtqM
4763.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Stuck In The Middle With You being sung by Bob Dylan instead of Stealers Wheel?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DohRa9lsx0Q
4764.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Escape(The Piña Colada Song) being sung by Jimmy Buffett instead of Rupert Holmes?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TazHNpt6OTo
4765.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember I Write Sins Not Tragedies being sung by Fall Out Boy instead of Panic! At The Disco?(Was it "Panic At The Disco!"?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc6vs-l5dkc
4766.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Headstrong being sung by Papa Roach instead of Trapt?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LZ00CL8pdI
4767.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Uncover being sung by Rihanna instead of Zara Larsson?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-PXEe-qeK4
4768.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Don't Worry, Be Happy being sung by Bob Marley instead of Bobby McFerrin?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-diB65scQU
4769.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Cat's In The Cradle being sung by Cat Stevens instead of instead of Harry Chapin?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?=3&v=KUwjNBjqR-c
4770.(Music Lyrics change.)"Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it's off to work we go."/"Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it's home from work we go."(Do you remember them saying "It's off to work we go." more frequently?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?=3&v=HI0x0KYChq4
4771.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Diego Maradona doing keepie-uppies in the Munich 1989 UEFA semi-final instead of the them in the Stuttgart 1989 UEFA final?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?=6&v=4vashrNoXTE
4772.(Rock Band name change.)The Dwarves/Dwarves(Do any of their logos look off?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dwarves_(band)
4773.(History change.)Do you remember the Hindenburg explosion happening differently?(Is it more clear?)(Does the Led Zeppelin album cover look off?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgWHbpMVQ1U
4774.(Movie name change.)BeastmasteThe Beastmaster
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Beastmaster
4775.(Company Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in DTS not being connected?(Do the letters look off?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DTS_(sound_system)
4776.(Company Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Crackle not being connected?(Do the letters look off?)
http://showboxzone.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/1.jpg
4777.(Bank Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Westamerica Bank not being connected?(Do the letters look off?)(Was it "West America Bank"?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westamerica_Bank
4778.(Company Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Raven not being connected?(Were the letters not connected and normal in the other companies with the name "Raven"?)
http://www.rosshudgens.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/raven-seo-tools1.jpg
Add-On: Do you remember The Beatles not being known as The Golden Beatles?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Beatles
4779.(Duo name change.)Neptunes/The Neptunes(Do any of their logos look off?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Neptunes
4780.(Rock Band name change.)NERD/N.E.R.D/NERD(With asterisks between the letters.)(Do any of their logos look off?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/N.E.R.D
4781.(Rock Band name change.)The Pixies/Pixies(Do any of their logos look off?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pixies
4782.(Movie Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Dragnet not being connected?
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/8a/Dragnet_movie.jpg
4783.(Casino Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in The Mirage not being connected?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mirage
4784.(Car Model Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Hyundai Elantra not being connected?
https://www.autoblog.gwp-content/gallery/hyundai-elantra-coupe-2013/hyundai-elantra-coupe-2013-24.jpg
4785.(Company name change.)Infogames/Infogrames
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infogrames
4786.(Company Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Imagine Entertainment not being connected?
https://pmcdeadline2.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/imagineentertainment__131209230358.jpg
4787.(Movie Logo change.)Do you remember the A in The Da Vinci Code not being an upside down V?(Was it "Da Vinci Code"?)
http://is5.mzstatic.com/image/thumb/Video/v4/eb/1d/42/eb1d4273-5834-31b2-b86b-343ff85ab268/source/1200x630bb.jpg
4788.(Video Game Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Magic The Gathering being normal?
http://logos.wikia.com/wiki/Magic_the_Gathering
4789.(Movie Quote change.)"I'd rather kiss a wookie."/"I'd just as soon kiss a wookie."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBIb6Fi99Sg
4790.(Celebrity death that didn't happen.)Do you remember Iggy Pop dying in 2016?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iggy_Pop
4791.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember finna being a slang term instead of a real word?(Have you heard of the word?)
https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/us/finna
4792.(Company Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Equifax not being cut off?(Were they not connected?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equifax
4793.(Movie Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Full Metal Jacket being normal?
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71qDKzqJZrL._SL1101_.jpg
4794.(T.V. Show Logo change.)Do you remember the V in Unsolved Mysteries being normal?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unsolved_Mysteries
4795.(T.V. Show name change.)Fear Of The Walking Dead/Fear The Walking Dead
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fear_the_Walking_Dead
4796.(Computer name change.)Macbook/MacBook
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MacBook
4797.(Movie name change.)A Clockwork Orange/Clockwork Orange(Does the logo look off?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Clockwork_Orange_(film)
4798.(Famous Rapper Logo change.)Do you remember the D in DMX not being cut?(Anything else off?)
http://thehowardtheatre.com/assets/dmx-logo-652x367.jpg
4799.(T.V. Show Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in ALF not being connected?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ALF_(TV_series)
Add-On: Do you remember the letters in Quiksilver being normal?
https://www.sportyjob.com/wp-content/uploads/company_logos/quiksilver.jpg
4800.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember there only being 5 members in The Jackson 5 instead of 6?(Was it Jackson 5, The Jackson Five, Jackson Five?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Jackson_5
Add-On: Do you remember Chevrolet Camero instead of Chevrolet Camaro?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chevrolet_Camaro
4801.(Movie Quote change.)"Stella!"/"Hey! Stella!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYA9hvcLekg
4802.(Phantom geography.)Do you remember Victoria Falls not being a thing?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victoria_Falls
4803.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Uncle Sam's hat being red and white stripes instead of white?
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/1d/Unclesamwantyou.jpg/771px-Unclesamwantyou.jpg
4804.(Association Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in the ADA being normal?(Were they not connected?)(Were they not green?)
http://www.ada.org/en
4805.(Car Model Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Cadillac Escalade not being connected?(Was "Escalade" a real word?)
http://shop.liwrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Escalade6x.5.png
4806.(Movie Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Beauty And The Beast not being connected?(Were the letters normal?)
https://lumiere-a.akamaihd.net/v1/images/59c4bbfa5eac990001abd14e-image_f6e7cf5a.jpeg
4807.(Sweetener name change.)Carrageean/Carrageenan(Was it Carrageein or Carrageenin?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrageenan
4808.(Famous Architect name change.)Buckmeister FulleBuckminister FulleBuckminster Fuller
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buckminster_Fuller
4809.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember plants being able to convert carbon dioxide into oxygen?(Do you remember the oxygen produced in photosynthesis being derived from carbon dioxide?)
https://www.howplantswork.com/2009/02/16/plants-dont-convert-co2-into-o2/
4810.(Song name change.)Sweet Escape/The Sweet Escape(Do any of Gwen Stefani's logos look off?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sweet_Escape_(song)
4811.(Spelling change.)Enterprize/Enterprise(Does the Enterprise Rent-A-Car logo look off?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enterprise_Rent-A-Car
4812.(Candy Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Nerds not having little bumps on them?(Do you remember the letters in Wonka not being connected?)(Anything else in the Wonka logo look off?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nerds_(candy)
4813.(Famous Singer name change.)Charlie Putt/Charlie Puth(Do any of his logos look off?)(Do you remember him not having a scar on his eyebrow?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlie_Puth
4814.(Board Game Logo change.)Do you remember the Rs in Sorry! not being broken?(Was it "Sorry" instead of "Sorry!"?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sorry!_(game)
4815.(Toy Logo change.)Do you remember the E in K'Nex not being broken?(Anything else off?)(Was it spelled differently?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K'Nex
4816.(T.V. Show Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Saved By The Bell not being connected?(Anything else off?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saved_by_the_Bell
4817.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember there not being an A Christmas Carol musical called "Scrooge" from 1970?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scrooge_(1970_film)
4818.(New species.)Have you heard of the Dumbo Octopus?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grimpoteuthis
4819.(New species.)Have you heard of the Vampire Squid?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampire_squid
4820.(Cookie Logo change.)Do you remember the letters not being connected in Lorna Doone?(Anything else off?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lorna_Doone_(cookie)
4821.(Perfume Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Drakkar Noir not being connected?(Anything else off?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drakkar_Noir
4822.(Hotel Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Riviera not being connected?(Anything else off?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riviera_(hotel_and_casino)
4823.(Hotel Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in MGM Grand note being connected?(Anything else off?)
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/b3/MGM_Grand_logo.svg/1024px-MGM_Grand_logo.svg.png
4824.(Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Yogi Bear not being connected?(Anything else off?)
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/logopedia/images/0/06/Yogi_bear_logo.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120602231342
Add-On: Do you remember "Porsche" being spelled "Porche"?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porsche
4825.(Movie Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in The Aristocats not being connected?(Anything else off?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Aristocats
4826.(Movie Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Tarzan not being connected?(Anything else off?)
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/_mbPJGiOP7g/movieposter.jpg
4827.(Online Game Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in World Of Warcraft not being connected?(Anything else off?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_of_Warcraft
4828.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Ranikot Fort not being a thing?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ranikot_Fort
4829.(New species.)Have you heard of the Giant South American Grasshopper?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_South_American_grasshopper
4830.(New species.)Have you heard of Creatonotos Gangis?
https://www.sciencealert.com/this-bug-is-completely-real-and-the-internet-is-not-impressed
4831.(New species.)Have you heard of the Nematomorpha?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nematomorpha
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOKP-2fNVlE
4832.(New species.)Have you heard of the Blue Lion?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI-39uf36QQ
4833.(New species.)Have you heard of the Blue Rat?
http://www.afrma.org/russianblue.htm
4834.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember lemons with spikes not being a thing?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOKP-2fNVlE
4835.(Geography change.)Do you remember North America and South America being separate continents?
http://ontheworldmap.com/north-america/map-of-north-and-south-america.jpg
4836.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember 6x6 cars not being a thing?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six-wheel_drive
4837.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Thundersnow not being a thing?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thundersnow
4838.(Album name change.)Dark Side Of The Moon/The Dark Side Of The Moon
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dark_Side_of_the_Moon
4839.(Music Lyrics change.)"Joy to the world, the Lord is come."/"Joy to the world, the Lord has come."(Which one was it for you?)
https://genius.com/Christmas-songs-joy-to-the-world-lyrics
Add-On: Do you remember the Wow! Signal coming from Orion instead of Sagittarius?(Was it the "Wow Signal"?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wow!_signal
4840.(Book Title change.)My Pet Goat/The Pet Goat(Was George W. Bush actually holding it upside down in the iconic photo?)(Does the book look off?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pet_Goat
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzqU54qILfA
Add-On: Do you remember "Settled down", or "Settled our heads" in Twas The Night Before Christmas instead of "Settled our brains"?(Anything else off?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Visit_from_St._Nicholas
Add-On: Do you remember "Old St. Nick" instead of "Good St. Nick" in Up On The Housetop?(Anything else off?)(Did Krampus not exist for you?)(Did Elf On The Shelf not exist for you?)(Was it "Elf On A Shelf" "The Elf On A Shelf" or "The Elf On The Shelf"?)
https://genius.com/Gene-autry-up-on-the-housetop-lyrics
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krampus
https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0219/5172/products/christmas-boxset-combined2.png?v=1498569739
4841.(Company Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Tractor Supply Company not being connected?(Anything else off?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tractor_Supply_Company
4842.(Music Lyrics change.)"Janie's got a gun."/"Janie got a gun."(Does the Aerosmith logo look off?)
https://genius.com/Aerosmith-janies-got-a-gun-lyrics
4843.(Car Model Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Chevy Silverado being normal?(Were the letters in Chrysler, and GMC Sierra normal?)
http://cartype.com/pics/1649/full/gmc_sierra.jpg
https://www.autoplates.com/image/cat_thumbs/chevrolet-silverado-logo-products.jpg
http://www.car-brand-names.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/Chrysler-logo.jpg
4844.(Movie Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Home Alone not being connected?(Was the E in Alone not slanted?)(Were the letters normal in the other Home Alone movie logos?)
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/total-movies/images/a/a7/Home_Alone.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20151029174827
Add-On: Do you remember there being only one Large Hadron Collider?
http://lhcb-public.web.cern.ch/lhcb-public/
4845.(Ship name change.)Marie Celeste/Mary Celeste(Is anything else surrounding the ship off to you?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Celeste
4846.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Khepri not being a thing?(Do you remember it not being spelled other ways?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khepri
4847.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember giraffes being taller than they are now?(Did white giraffes not exist?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giraffe
submitted by iminterestingplease to Retconned [link] [comments]

Secrets of the Sea - Vol. 2

Vol. 1
The next thing I knew was that the boat was fighting to push forward and climb another wave. My salt-crusted eyes opened just in time to see as Kyle slammed the throttles into the furthest forward position they could be, maxing them out - and the boat lurched slowly forward in response. My whole body could feel the strain of the motors pushing against the weight of the water that now filled the boat to almost knee height. My eyes grew wider and wider as I realized the gravity of the situation - there had to be 100+ gallons of water inside the floor-space with us.
"Holy shit!" I yelped pathetically, hurriedly pulling my feet up underneath me onto the captains chair as we lurched forward and up on top of the oncoming wave; as the bow turned upward near the top of the wave, water began gushing and pouring out of the back of the boat, streaming through the gap between the motors, over the dive platform, and back to the depths from whence it came. I had to lunge and grab onto the dive bag, filled with our fins, masks and snorkels, before it joined the masses of water returning to the ocean.
While the water remaining on the floor of the boat (now only at ankle height) was busy sloshing around, trying to find a path for escape, we were still being relentlessly tossed around by the surrounding waves. It was as if the ocean was laughing at us, challenging us to a duel that she knew we could not win. To me, the sea has never been a thing, but more of a powerful entity - a goddess who was either cruel or fair, completely dependent upon her mood. And today, she was toying with us.
For some reason, this thought made me incredibly angry. Perhaps it was partly the fear wracking my brain, or the knowledge that literally thousands of people die after their boats capsize along this very coast each year, I'm not sure which - but as we continued swaying and rocking, I held on tightly to the frame of the captain's chair, and screamed out to the laughing waves, "Is that all ya got?! We are GOING to Bimini!"
Luckily for me, the din of the storm in combination with the motors struggling to churn the water all but drowned out my taunt. I can't say whether it helped us or not, but in that moment, I should have realized this was a sign. The conditions turning sour were a warning to stay away from the islands, and we, in our excitement for our long-awaited vacation, were not paying attention. Even though everything in my gut was telling me we should turn back in that moment, at that point I was so angry I was determined to reach our destination.
It will be worth it... any kind of obstacle will be worth it once we're there... I had thought, gritting my teeth.
Retrospect would aim to teach me that in reality, the opposite was true. There was nothing - not all the mountains of lost treasure or schools of trophy fish in the sea - that would be worth what we were going to face on the island.
We completed the rest of the 42 miles of our voyage fighting the storm, and only took one more wave over the bow. By the time we had reached the shore line of the island, the ominous weather and less than favorable seas we saw in the Gulf had all but disappeared. In its place was everything we loved about Bimini - clear skies, clear water, and clear minds.
We pulled through the channel at the tip of the island right at noon that first day, completing our journey in just over 3 hours. We pulled into the marina at our hotel, the Seacrest, and literally fell out of the vessel on wobbly legs. We knelt and kissed the wooden planks of the dock repeatedly, much to the amusement of the locals standing at the fuel pump at the end of the marina.
"You crazy fools crossed over on that today?" One of them called, laughing. 26' may seem like a big boat, but it really is not. Big for a lake, sure. Big for the ocean? Not a chance.
"Yep, should've turned around many times! But here we are!" Kyle answered, throwing his arms up in mock praise to the sky.
"So you are. Welcome to paradise, crazy white boy!" Another man called back to us, and the group of men laughed again, nodding in agreement.
We had to check in at customs, then unload all of our gear before we could start adventuring. We were staying on the second floor of the faded yellow hotel (much to our dismay when carrying all of our gear up and down the flights of stairs), which overlooked the marina and faced out to the east, the flats of the island. In the flats, the maximum depth was around twelve feet, and the expanse of pristine water over sparkling white sand stretched as far as the eye could see.
The island has a rich history as a known pirate island and rum running operation, then later on, a major cocaine running operation. The way the island is situated makes it a perfect location for hiding, if one knows how to navigate the water - only one entrance exists.
Because the maximum depth of the flats on the interior east of the island (where the hotel looked out over) was so shallow, and these flats extended a decent ten-twenty miles out away from the island, many a ship had fallen prey to the flats. Any ship that was unaware of the depth would have run aground in the flats, even if they came by way of the open sea. There was only one entrance to access the interior of the island, which was the ship channel at the southern tip of the island we had entered in through. This being the only entrance, it was very easy to keep track of who was coming and going from the island.
Bimini consists of three actual islands: North Bimini (where we stay) South Bimini, and East Bimini (mostly uninhabited). North Bimini itself is only seven miles long, and around 700 feet wide. There are two main roads, the King's Highway and the Queen's Highway, which run parallel to each other down the length of the island. Between the roads, the locals have built their homes and a few scattered businesses. There are only a handful of restaurants, gift shops and grocery stores in operation on the island, and their hours are subject to change. There have been several occasions when we ventured out to get a drink, or pick up a grocery item, to discover that the posted hours outside the business do not really dictate the hours - the owner does. The only way to know what is open and what isn't is to physically get down to the business yourself, or ask the locals where and when to find what you need. The one business in operation on the island that adheres to "normal" business practices is the infamous Hilton Hotel.
I say infamous because most of the locals on the island despise the hotel. The reason may not matter to some who only come to tropical islands to sip cocktails by an infinity pool, they would not understand the hatred. There are plenty of swimming pools at the Hilton. There is also a casino, several restaurants, and acre upon ocean viewing acre of luxury accommodations. The problem is that the construction of the hotel blasted its way right through the mangroves that extend around the northern tip of the islands and all the way into the flats - which make up the breeding grounds and nursery for virtually every species found in the water - effectively bringing the ecosystem to its knees.
The hotel also takes business from other, smaller hotels and restaurants on the opposite end of the island. So not only did the owners rape the island and the surrounding reefs, now they steal any remaining business from the locals.
We hardly ever make it to that end of the island when we visit, choosing instead to support the locals and local businesses - but I'll never forget the time we had bad weather for snorkeling and decided to rent a golf cart and trek to the casino for some lazy, drunken fun. When we returned and told the dock-master at our hotel where we had been, his look immediately turned dark. His happy, cheerful demeanor shifted immediately to cold and aloof.
"That place down there is the biggest money laundering outfit I've ever seen," he said, angrily. "If you're gonna rent my carts, don't take 'em down there," he mumbled, and took off around the corner of the hotel.
We were stunned into silence, but knew from then on to keep those types of expeditions to ourselves in the future.
After we had finished checking in at customs and unloading everything into the hotel room, we decided we would start our current adventure with a little late afternoon snorkeling. First we took a celebratory shot of whiskey in the room, then walked across the dusty road among the golf carts and bicyclists to our favorite bar, simply called "Toons' Place."
There are no signs outside the brightly colored building, no banner with the name or hours posted. This is because Toon's Place is always open, and I do mean always. There is also loud music blasting, huge fans blowing the hot air around, and every space of the interior is covered in dollar bills stapled to the wood. Our favorite part though, is the bartender and owner, Toons. He's that type of bartender that is always drinking and having fun with those at his bartop, and if he likes you, he's notorious for passing out free shots.
"Ayyy, yo, my white cousins!" Toons yelled from behind the bar as we walked across the sandy floor, his dreadlocks swinging wildly to the blaring music. He extended his tanned ebony hand first to Kyle, then to me, and turned immediately to pour us each a shot from a random open bottle of liquor on the bar next to him. He poured three - always one for himself - and with that, we smiled and touched glasses in cheers, then took the shots in unison.
"So you two crazy kids are back, huh? What's on the agenda today?" Toons asked, popping open a beer for another customer and handing it down the bar.
"We're headed out for some snorkeling in the front of the island, maybe shoot a fish or two," Kyle said, grinning.
"Alright, alright. Just be careful. I've heard there are some sketchy folks about this time of year. You want a drink for the road?" Toons asked, glancing in our direction as he polished off glasses and stacked them neatly.
I stopped to think, my head bobbing to the steady boom of the bass in the music. It was strange for him to mention being careful, with all the stories we had told him over the years, he knew that we knew what we were doing. I chalked it up to island superstition, as most of the residents didn't trust anyone they didn't know - especially the Cubans that frequented the casino.
"Yeah, give us two Goom Bay Smashes. And don't worry about us, we'll be on the lookout for pirates," Kyle said, winking at Toons, and handed him a twenty.
After we had our pineapple infused beverages laden with local rum in hand, we made our way to the boat. We left the marina and immediately took the channel out to the front of the island, which faced west, as the sun was beginning to sink. The sky was blue tinged with the loveliest shade of rose on the horizon, and everything was bathed in sunlight. The boat was now cutting though the water like butter, hardly any sound of effort could be heard from the motors - nothing like the conditions we experienced coming across from Florida. I sipped my drink and held on to the boat topper above my head, looking down into the perfectly calm, clear water. We drove about a mile up the shoreline and picked a spot to jump in. I donned my black skinsuit and started to de-fog my mask while Kyle secured the anchor.
We were probably five hundred yards from the beach, and I could just make out structural details on the mansion style beach houses dotted along the shore. It seemed that every one was at least three stories tall, with wraparound porches for each level, spectacular windows facing the beach, and towering leafy trees all around. All the homes were painted in bright shades of green and blue - colors of the waters just out in front of the homes. The sound of the gentle waves lapping the surface and the playful breeze combined with the sight of the ocean mansions was lulling me into a serenely calm state, and I started to hum lazily while I pulled on my fins.
We were both seated on the starboard side of the boat, one leg draped carelessly into the water and one firmly planted inside the boat before launching into our first snorkel. I closed my eyes and worked to calm my breathing, dragging my hanging leg back and forth in time to the counting in my head. Just as my breathing synced to the rhythm in my head, I happened to notice a woman standing on the top balcony of one of the mansions. She appeared to be facing us, and was wildly waving her arms in our direction.
I nudged Kyle, who was adjusting his snorkel, and pointed to the woman. She was still waving her arms in our direction. We both waited and squinted to see if she was pointing at the water - signifying a shark, and for us to stay out of the water - but she was just crazily waving us off. The more we watched, the more it dawned on us that she wanted us to leave.
A chill went up my spine.
Nobody had ever been rude in that way here before, it was too laid back on this end of the island for snooty people who think they own the water in front of their beach rental. The end of the island with the Hilton, sure. It was easy to ignore them, though, as all the ocean view accommodations also had white fences that blocked the occupant from having to see lowly peasants like ourselves actually enjoying the water.
The woman's motions began to get more frantic, as she waved us away over and over again. I could just barely hear her voice, she seemed to be yelling "leave." Now she was jumping around, seemingly desperate for us to notice her.
We looked at each other, and laughed nervously. "Crazy old bitch," Kyle said, shaking his head, "let's just get in the water and we won't be able to see her anymore." He flipped his other leg over the side of the boat and with a splash slid into the water. I watched as his shape moved slowly away from the boat and out over the brown and black splotches of reef.
I watched the woman frantically wave for a moment more, not totally convinced we should really be getting into the water. I couldn't make out any specific details about her person other than she appeared to be white and wearing all black clothing. After a few more minutes of the same thing, I sighed and resolved to join Kyle under the waves, deciding she was probably harmless.
I kicked both legs to hang into the water over the side of the boat, and pulled my mask back down over my eyes. As I slid into the water, though, I caught one more glimpse of the woman - but this last flash was different. Instead of flailing her arms wildly, she seemed to be facing a different direction, and her body language was totally different. I slid into the water - the temperature was like a warm bath - and decided to swim closer to shore to see what was going on with this crazy old bat. If I could, I aimed to tell her the ocean belonged to everyone and to get off her high horse with this "leave" bullshit.
As I swam towards the shore, I scanned the water beneath me. A few large triggerfish were floating aimlessly around the reefs, their oversized dorsal and pectoral fins flopping around stupidly. Parrotfish dotted the reefs as well, their iridescent pink, purple and green scales catching the light as the meandered along. Other smaller fish came and went into crevices in the coral of the reef, and tiny white jellyfish floated in and out in front of my mask. Everything was peaceful here, nothing amiss among the colorful reefs and perfect expanse of white sand.
I estimated I was probably about a hundred yards from the shore now, and since the water level was getting much more shallow, I knew the beach wasn't far off. I surfaced, treading water directly beneath me with my fins, and pulled off my mask.
I found the house just in time to see the woman who was waving us away engaged in conversation with someone else, a new figure. I had to keep up a steady pace with my fins pulsing beneath me to stay above the surface enough to see the pair, but immediately noticed something was off.
The woman in black was facing away from me, looking at this other person, and now her hands were raised in front of her in what I immediately registered was a surrender. My eyes widened as I watched the scene unfold from the silence of the waves, the two seemed to be arguing. I could not hear what they were saying from my watery hiding spot, but I kept up the pace with my fins long enough to see the new figure raise their arm and bring it down quickly towards the other woman's head, striking her - and saw her fall immediately to the floor.
I gasped as she fell, which was my first mistake, - my mouth was right at the surface of the water at this point- and I simultaneously took in a huge gulp of salty water. As I choked and spat out the water, I lost sight of the figures on the balcony. I tried to find Kyle while I gasped for air, spluttering, but could not see him. I knew I had to get back to the boat, so I swam as fast as I could back toward the rope stretching up from the reef - our anchor. I knew now the woman had been motioning for us to go and get help, not to leave. The other thing I knew was that I had not been seen, and it was a stroke of luck we had been in the water when the assailant attacked the woman.
I reached the ladder at the back of the boat and heaved myself up and into the vessel as quickly as I could while still wearing fins. I threw my mask and snorkel into the dive bag and immediately spun around to face the house.
The two figures were gone.
Confused, I rushed to the edge of the boat closest to the shore, grabbing onto the railing to hold myself up as I leaned out as far as I could, squinting at the house. Yes, they were most definitely gone.
The sound of water splashing startled me, and I turned to see Kyle pulling himself up over the dive platform at the back of the boat. He pulled off his fins and mask, shaking his head wildly back and forth to spray salt water in my direction. He smiled up at me, but his smile faded immediately when his gaze found mine.
"Are you ok? What did I miss?" he asked, standing to grab my face between his hands, obviously worried about my horrified expression.
"That woman... she... he was.... something is wrong," I said, frustrated at my own stumbling effort to explain the situation.
"Whoa whoa. Calm down. Something happened to the crazy old bitch?" He asked, gesturing in the general direction of the house, not taking his eyes off of mine.
"Yes," I said, taking a steadying breath, "she was still waving us away when someone else came outside. They got into a scuffle and he hit her. She went down... hard. Then I tried to get back here to be able to see and maybe call for help, but now they're both gone," I said quickly.
We stared at each other for maybe another three seconds before I continued, "I'm going to call for help on the radio." I walked past him for the captain's chair and reached up next to the GPS system to dislodge the radio from the dash.
"Wh... what do you mean?" Kyle rushed up behind me to snatch the radio out of my hand. "They're not gone. Look, there's someone up there right now," he said, pointing up to the railing of the beach house. I slowly turned to face the house, praying it was the woman, hoping she was alright.
There, in the middle of the porch and facing towards us, was the other figure, the one was sure I had seen attack the woman. The figure stood perfectly still, perfectly straight. Time seemed to slow down to a crawl as we stared up toward the unnaturally motionless figure. How long had they been standing there? I hadn't seen them just a moment ago when I was straining over the edge of the boat....
Suddenly, we heard a mournful call come across the water from the direction of the beach house.
"I'm sorrrrrryyyyy....... I'm SOOOORRRRYYYYYYY," it grew louder as it repeated over and over again.
The figure remained motionless, making it impossible to tell if the cry came from them, or somewhere else. The just stood and.... stared in our direction.
I frantically looked to Kyle for answers, but he just continued to stare at the figure.
Who was sorry? What were they apologizing to us for? I was sure we hadn't been seen in the water when the scuffle took place.... or had we? The call droned on and on, each new "sorry" making the situation more and more eerie.
"What are you sorry for?!" Kyle yelled, cupping his hands suddenly around his mouth to answer the call, which was still sounding out, as if it were being played on repeat.
Almost immediately, the call was cut short. The repetitive groaning apology stopped mid-sentence. Simultaneously, the figure turned quickly on their heel and walked into the darkened doorway of the house, leaving us alone with nothing but the sound of the waves lapping gently against the shore for an answer.
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